Shadow Selves and Shells

Leah, an artist and mother of three, is haunted by the idea of a parallel, childless self—untethered, free, surfing in Costa Rica. Instead, she's bound to the O'Connor family, her in-laws, and the rituals of motherhood. On a beach trip, she observes her daughter Joni's closeness with her grandmother Christine, feeling both gratitude and exclusion. The family's shell-collecting tradition becomes a metaphor for the ways women pass down love, secrets, and expectations. Leah's memories of her own grandmother, Nana, and her outsider status in the O'Connor clan, set the stage for a story about the longing for escape and the ache of belonging.

Family Rituals, Hidden Faultlines

The O'Connor family's Sunday dinners are a battleground of tradition, hierarchy, and unspoken resentments. Leah and her sister-in-law Amy, both outsiders who married into the family, form a bond over their shared sense of not quite fitting in. Amy's struggles with infertility and Leah's ambivalence about motherhood are contrasted with Christine's matriarchal control. The family's plan to resurrect their lost restaurant, The Cove, becomes a symbol of both legacy and the suffocating weight of the past. Underneath the laughter and rituals, cracks begin to show—especially in the women's relationships with each other.

Surf, Sex, and Secrets

Leah recalls her first meeting with Lucas, her husband, in a surf shop—a moment charged with chemistry, banter, and the promise of a new life. Surfing together, they find intimacy and freedom, but Leah's restlessness persists. She's drawn to the ocean as both muse and escape, and her past with another lover, Miles, lingers as a shadow. The birth of her children, especially Joni, is both a source of peace and a reminder of the life she left behind. The tension between desire, duty, and the secrets she keeps from Lucas and herself simmers beneath the surface.

Running Toward and Away

Leah's runs through the Tree Tunnel are her sanctuary, a place to exhaust her mind and body. A chance encounter with Miles, her former lover, stirs up old feelings and the possibility of a different life. Christine and Paul's unexpected appearance on horseback highlights the ever-present gaze of the O'Connors. Leah's envy of other mothers—those who seem content, patient, and fulfilled—intensifies her sense of inadequacy. The memory of her own mother's conditional love and her grandmother's nurturing wisdom deepens Leah's longing for a version of motherhood that feels authentic and whole.

Sisterhoods and Motherhoods

Leah and Amy's friendship is a lifeline, forged in the shared experience of being outsiders and mothers-in-law's targets. Their conversations—over coffee, ice cream, and stolen moments—are filled with humor, honesty, and the pain of what's unspoken. Amy's relationship with her own mother, Isla, is fraught with abandonment and addiction, making her bond with Christine both a comfort and a source of guilt. Leah's memories of introducing Amy to Paul, and the ways they support each other through loss and hope, reveal the power and fragility of chosen family.

The Weight of Decisions

Leah's unplanned pregnancy with Joni is a turning point—one that forces her to confront her fears, her past, and her future. Alone in a bell tower, she contemplates abortion, motherhood, and the impossibility of merging her shadow self with her real life. The decision to keep the baby is both an act of surrender and defiance, shaped by dreams, guilt, and the hope for something more. The experience leaves her forever changed, haunted by what might have been and what is.

Parallel Lives Collide

As Leah juggles the demands of parenting, art, and marriage, she feels herself unraveling. Lucas's devotion to The Restaurant and Christine's constant interference leave Leah feeling invisible and resentful. Her attempts to create art are stymied by exhaustion and self-doubt. The memory of her high school art teacher's encouragement clashes with the reality of her stalled career. Leah's drinking escalates as she seeks relief from the relentless pressure to be everything to everyone, even as she fears losing herself entirely.

The Cracks Beneath Perfection

Leah's reliance on wine to cope with motherhood's chaos becomes more pronounced, especially as she compares herself to other mothers who seem to balance it all effortlessly. The O'Connor family's rituals—birthdays, dinners, and photo albums—are revealed as both comforting and oppressive. Leah's envy of Amy's resilience and Christine's confidence deepens her sense of failure. The memory of Amy's miscarriage, and Leah's own absence during that crisis, underscores the ways addiction and shame can isolate even the closest friends.

Rivalries and Revelations

Leah's relationship with Christine reaches a breaking point as suspicions, accusations, and old wounds come to the fore. Christine's favoritism, her obsession with family order, and her veiled threats push Leah to the edge. Meanwhile, Amy's pregnancy brings both hope and fear, as she navigates the legacy of her own mother's failures and the expectations of the O'Connors. The revelation of Christine's secret loss—a stillborn daughter named Grace—casts new light on her behavior and the family's rituals, forcing everyone to confront the ghosts they carry.

The Art of Escape

Leah's struggle to create art mirrors her struggle to find herself within the confines of motherhood and marriage. Her studio becomes both sanctuary and battleground, a place where she can confront her desires, her failures, and her longing for escape. The act of destroying her own paintings is both a cry for help and a rejection of the life she feels trapped in. The arrival of Christine, and the confrontation over Joni's identity and Leah's drinking, brings the simmering tensions to a boil.

Unraveling at the Edges

Leah's drinking spirals out of control, leading to public humiliation, marital conflict, and the risk of losing everything she loves. Amy's intervention—taking Leah to a twelve-step meeting—forces Leah to confront the reality of her addiction and the ways it has poisoned her relationships. The stories of other women in recovery, and the recognition of her own patterns, begin to crack Leah's denial. The support of Amy, Lucas, and even Christine becomes both a lifeline and a mirror, reflecting the pain and possibility of change.

Daughters, Lovers, Mothers

Leah's fear that Joni may not be Lucas's biological child drives her to seek a paternity test, a decision fraught with guilt and desperation. The web of secrets—about Miles, about Isla's new baby, about Christine's lost daughter—threatens to unravel the fragile bonds holding the family together. Leah's confession to Amy, and the confrontation with Christine, force all the women to reckon with the ways they have hurt and helped each other. The question of what makes a family—blood, choice, or love—becomes central as the truth comes to light.

The Price of Belonging

In the aftermath of revelations and confrontations, the O'Connor family must find a way to move forward. Christine's admission of her grief and guilt over Grace, Amy's reconciliation with her own mother's failures, and Leah's commitment to sobriety mark the beginning of a new chapter. The act of scattering Grace's ashes, and the creation of new rituals, symbolize the family's willingness to honor the past while embracing the future. Leah's journey toward self-acceptance, and her renewed connection with Lucas and her children, offer hope for healing and wholeness.

Confessions and Consequences

Leah's struggle with addiction is ongoing, marked by setbacks, shame, and the fear of losing everything. The support of Amy, Lucas, and her recovery community becomes essential as she learns to live without alcohol. The process of making amends, facing the consequences of her actions, and rebuilding trust is painful but necessary. The birth of Amy's daughter, and the rescue of Isla's baby, serve as reminders of both the fragility and resilience of life. Leah's decision to stay present, to participate fully in her own life, is both hard-won and transformative.

Breaking the Surface

As Leah marks six months of sobriety, she reflects on the journey that brought her to this point—the losses, the loves, the mistakes, and the moments of grace. The act of returning shells to the sea, of merging shadows and light, becomes a metaphor for the integration of all her selves. The support of her family, her friends, and her recovery community sustains her as she learns to live with both the ache and the joy of motherhood. The story ends with a sense of hope, possibility, and the understanding that healing is a lifelong process.

Characters

Leah O'Connor

Leah is the novel's protagonist, a painter and mother of three who is haunted by the life she might have lived—untethered, creative, and free. Her marriage to Lucas and her immersion in the O'Connor family bring both comfort and suffocation. Leah's psychological landscape is marked by longing, envy, and a deep sense of inadequacy, especially in comparison to her mother-in-law Christine and her friend Amy. Her struggle with alcohol is both a symptom and a cause of her unraveling, as she seeks escape from the relentless demands of motherhood and the weight of her secrets. Leah's journey is one of reckoning—with her past, her choices, and her capacity for both destruction and healing.

Christine O'Connor

Christine is the formidable mother-in-law whose presence looms over the family. Elegant, controlling, and fiercely devoted to her sons and grandchildren, she is both a source of comfort and a trigger for Leah's insecurities. Christine's own history of loss—a stillborn daughter, Grace—shapes her need for order and her sometimes suffocating love. Her relationship with Leah is fraught with rivalry, misunderstanding, and moments of unexpected tenderness. Christine's journey is one of learning to let go, to forgive, and to accept the imperfections in herself and those she loves.

Amy O'Connor

Amy, Leah's sister-in-law and closest friend, is a preschool teacher whose warmth and resilience mask a history of abandonment and trauma. Raised by an alcoholic mother, Isla, Amy longs for stability and belonging, which she finds in the O'Connor family. Her struggles with infertility and loss are central to her character, as is her role as a bridge between Leah and Christine. Amy's psychological strength is tested by her loyalty to both women, her own desire for motherhood, and the need to break free from cycles of pain. Her journey is one of self-assertion, healing, and the creation of a new legacy.

Lucas O'Connor

Lucas is Leah's husband, a venture capitalist turned restaurateur whose devotion to family and tradition is both admirable and, at times, oblivious to Leah's struggles. Tall, charming, and easygoing, Lucas is the glue that holds the O'Connors together. His relationship with Leah is marked by passion, frustration, and a deep, if sometimes strained, love. Lucas's psychological journey involves learning to see beyond appearances, to support Leah through her addiction, and to redefine what it means to be a partner and a father.

Joni O'Connor

Joni, Leah and Lucas's eldest daughter, is a sensitive, perceptive child whose closeness with Christine and curiosity about her own identity are central to the story. Joni's presence often soothes family tensions, but her existence also triggers Leah's fears about belonging and legacy. Her innocence and wisdom serve as a reminder of what is at stake in the family's struggles, and her journey toward self-understanding mirrors Leah's own.

Paul O'Connor

Paul, Lucas's older brother and Amy's husband, is the quintessential "good son"—reliable, sensitive, and eager to please. His partnership with Lucas in resurrecting The Restaurant is both a dream and a source of stress. Paul's relationship with Amy is marked by tenderness and shared grief, especially in the wake of their struggles with infertility and loss. His role as a mediator in family conflicts and his quiet strength make him a stabilizing force.

Jack O'Connor

Jack, the youngest O'Connor brother, often feels like an outsider in his own family, overshadowed by his brothers and their achievements. His marriage to Lidy and his role as a father are less central to the narrative, but his moments of candor and humor provide relief from the family's intensity. Jack's psychological journey is one of seeking recognition and understanding his place in the family's history, especially after learning about his twin, Grace.

Isla

Isla, Amy's biological mother, is a complex figure—charismatic, creative, and deeply damaged by addiction. Her inability to care for Amy, her cycles of sobriety and relapse, and her eventual pregnancy and attempted suicide serve as both a warning and a mirror for Leah. Isla's presence in the story forces Amy and Leah to confront the limits of forgiveness, the legacy of trauma, and the possibility of breaking destructive cycles.

Nana

Leah's grandmother, Nana, is a source of unconditional love, wisdom, and support. Her influence is felt through Leah's memories and the lessons she imparts about art, resilience, and the importance of staying tethered to what matters. Nana's presence is a reminder of the power of chosen family and the ways women sustain each other across generations.

Dottie and Reid O'Connor

Leah's younger children, Dottie and Reid, are less developed as individual characters but serve as symbols of the joys and challenges of motherhood. Their needs, milestones, and moments of connection with Leah and the rest of the family highlight the stakes of Leah's struggle with addiction and her journey toward presence and healing.

Plot Devices

Nonlinear Narrative and Unreliable Narration

The novel employs a nonlinear structure, moving fluidly between past and present, memory and reality. Leah's voice is deeply subjective, often unreliable, as she filters events through the haze of addiction, longing, and self-doubt. This approach allows the reader to experience the confusion, repetition, and emotional intensity of Leah's inner world, while also revealing the gaps and distortions in her perception. The use of flashbacks, dreams, and parallel timelines underscores the theme of shadow selves and the difficulty of integrating all parts of one's identity.

Symbolism of the Ocean and Surfing

The ocean is a constant presence in the novel, symbolizing both danger and salvation. Surfing becomes a metaphor for the risks and rewards of embracing life's uncertainty, the need to ride out the waves rather than control them. The imagery of tides, shells, and the deep blue sea reflects the characters' emotional states—the pull between freedom and responsibility, the threat of drowning in grief or addiction, and the possibility of emerging, changed, on the other side.

Intergenerational Trauma and Ritual

The O'Connor family's rituals—Sunday dinners, shell collections, the resurrection of The Restaurant—serve as both anchors and chains. The transmission of trauma, especially through the losses experienced by Christine and Amy, shapes the family's dynamics and the women's relationships with each other. The act of naming, the passing down of objects, and the creation of new traditions are all ways the characters attempt to make sense of their pain and to forge connections across generations.

Addiction as Both Escape and Prison

Leah's relationship with alcohol is depicted with unflinching honesty, showing how it offers temporary relief from anxiety, loneliness, and the pressures of motherhood, while ultimately deepening her sense of isolation and despair. The progression from casual drinking to dependence is mirrored in the structure of the novel, with scenes of blackout, shame, and self-sabotage. The intervention by Amy, the experience of twelve-step meetings, and the stories of other women in recovery highlight the possibility of change, while also acknowledging the difficulty of breaking free.

Foreshadowing and Parallelism

The novel is rich in foreshadowing—early references to drowning, the bell tower, and the "devil and the deep blue sea" set up later crises. The parallel stories of Leah and Isla, Christine and Amy, and the lost daughters (Grace and Eve) create a sense of inevitability, while also emphasizing the power of choice. The repetition of certain images and phrases ("all the ways ache," "watch me disappear/reappear") reinforces the themes of loss, transformation, and the search for wholeness.

Analysis

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea is a raw, lyrical exploration of motherhood, addiction, and the search for self within the confines of family and expectation. Jessica Guerrieri's novel interrogates the myth of the perfect mother, exposing the ways women are pressured to subsume their identities, desires, and pain for the sake of others. Through Leah's unreliable narration and the novel's nonlinear structure, readers are immersed in the confusion, longing, and ache of a woman on the brink—torn between the life she has and the life she imagines. The ocean, with its beauty and danger, becomes a powerful metaphor for the emotional tides of motherhood and recovery. The story's intergenerational lens reveals how trauma, secrets, and love are passed down, shaping each woman's choices and sense of self. Ultimately, the novel offers a message of hope: that healing is possible, not through escape or perfection, but through honesty, presence, and the willingness to ride out the waves—together. The book's modern relevance lies in its unflinching portrayal of "mommy wine culture," the dangers of escapism, and the necessity of community and vulnerability in breaking cycles of pain. It is a testament to the resilience of women, the complexity of family, and the redemptive power of telling the truth.

Last updated: December 23, 2025