10 Qualities of Influential People

1. Influence is About Moving People (and Yourself) Towards Improvement

One of the best definitions of influence that I’ve heard recently is moving. Moving, in this sense, means taking a person from one way of thinking to another.

Guiding change. Influence is fundamentally about guiding individuals from one state of mind or action to another, always with the underlying human motivation for improvement. The "ABC theory of motivation" highlights that while past events (antecedents) play a small role, 85% of our drive to change comes from anticipating positive consequences. This innate desire for a better condition is the bedrock upon which all effective influence is built.

Indirect power. Influence isn't always direct persuasion; it often operates through the "law of indirect effort." If you want someone to like you, like them first; if you want to impress them, be impressed by them. Role models, like parents, influence profoundly through their behavior, demonstrating character, clarity, and conviction, which others observe and imitate more than direct instruction.

Understanding power dynamics. Influence is also tied to perceived power, which can be either "position power" (granted by hierarchy) or "ascribed power" (earned through competence). People are influenced by those who can significantly impact their lives, whether by helping or hindering. The law of reciprocity further states that doing favors for others creates an obligation, predisposing them to reciprocate and making you more influential.

2. Set Clear, Written Goals and Work Towards Them Daily

Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal or goal.

Purposeful direction. Influential people are inherently goal-oriented; it's impossible to imagine a leader without clear objectives. Research on self-made millionaires and billionaires consistently shows that financial independence stemmed from having clear, written goals, detailed plans, and an unwavering commitment to hard work, often for five to seven years. This ability to set and pursue long-term goals is a hallmark of maturity and a powerful driver of personal and professional success.

Transformative impact. The author's personal journey underscores the transformative power of goal setting. From sleeping on a floor to becoming a top salesman and then a manager, his life changed dramatically once he started writing down goals and daily actions. This daily progress towards a "worthy ideal" fosters happiness, energy, creativity, and ultimately, greater influence, as others are drawn to your evident success and purpose.

Actionable steps for goal achievement:

• Write down a list of ten goals.
• Identify the single most impactful goal.
• List ten activities to achieve it.
• Select the most important activity.
• Execute that activity daily.
  This "number one activity" focus ensures that every step moves you closer to your desired future, eliminating distractions and building momentum.

3. Build Unwavering Trust Through Absolute Integrity

If you want to have influence, be the kind of person that people know that they can trust 100%.

The bedrock of relationships. Integrity is arguably the most crucial quality for success in both business and life, as 85% of success hinges on relationships, and relationships are built on trust. Your reputation, defined by what people say about you and your company, is your most valuable asset. Every action, word, or omission contributes to this reputation, making it imperative to be a person of absolute truth and reliability.

Customer-centric contribution. To build trust with customers, influential companies offer unconditional money-back guarantees, standing firmly behind their products and services. This commitment to customer satisfaction is rooted in the "law of sowing and reaping" – the more value and effort you contribute, the greater your rewards. Peter Drucker emphasized "contribution" as the life-changing word, urging individuals to constantly ask: "How can I contribute more value to my business or my customers today?"

Competitive edge. In a competitive market, influence is gained by offering an "–er factor" – being better, smarter, faster, easier, or more convenient than competitors. People are inherently "greedy, selfish, ambitious, vain, ignorant, and impatient," always seeking the most for the least. Effective marketing and influence target those who already want and need a product or service, demonstrating immediate, desirable, and superior improvements to their lives, while addressing their inherent fear of risk.

4. Cultivate an Unconditionally Positive Attitude and Forgive Freely

The most important word in the English language is attitude.

Optimism as a magnet. Influential people possess an "extreme optimism," maintaining a positive and cheerful demeanor even under stress. A positive mental attitude is a conscious decision to look for the good, find valuable lessons in every situation, and rise above problems. This unwavering positivity is a powerful magnet, drawing others in and making you far more influential than someone prone to negativity.

Rewiring negative patterns. Most negative emotions, like fear of failure or disapproval, are learned in childhood through destructive criticism or love withheld. Influential individuals decide to eliminate these patterns by practicing self-talk like "I like myself; I love myself," which builds unconditional self-love and reduces fears. This self-acceptance is crucial because you cannot influence others more than you can influence yourself.

The liberating power of forgiveness. The greatest single block to happiness and influence is the unwillingness to forgive. Influential people make a conscious decision to forgive everyone who has ever hurt them, letting go of past grievances completely. This act of forgiveness, both for others and oneself, cleanses the mind of negativity, leading to profound personal transformation, improved health, and a renewed sense of well-being, as exemplified by the man who recovered from terminal illness through forgiveness.

5. Practice Sincere, Empathetic Communication, Not Just Politeness

Instead of disagreeing with others, ask them the Benjamin Franklin question: “That’s an interesting point of view. Why do you feel that way?”

Tactful truth. Sincerity means always telling the truth, but it must be coupled with politeness and tact. As Benjamin Franklin learned, it's "better to be liked than to be right." Instead of directly challenging or criticizing others, influential people ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective, fostering dialogue rather than debate. This approach transforms adversaries into friends and often reveals superior ideas.

Aligning motivations. People only change or take action if they believe it will improve their own condition. Influential individuals understand this core psychological principle, focusing on how their suggestions will benefit the other person. This creates an openness to influence, as people are naturally drawn to opportunities for personal gain, whether it's financial, professional, or personal.

Sales as a masterclass in influence. The profession of sales exemplifies influence at its highest level, requiring a deep understanding of human psychology. Effective salespeople build rapport and trust by:

• Asking questions and listening intently.
• Pausing before replying.
• Asking clarifying questions ("What do you mean exactly?").
• Feeding back what the person said in their own words.
  This process reduces skepticism, builds confidence, and positions the salesperson as a helpful advisor rather than a pushy seller, ultimately leading the customer to invite the sales pitch.

6. Continuously Learn and Stay Deeply Well-Informed

If you are not continuing to read, you have no chance (of success) in the 21st Century.

Knowledge is power. Influential people are exceptionally well-informed, both generally and within their specific professions. In an age where information doubles rapidly, continuous learning is not just an advantage but a necessity to stay relevant. Neglecting to read and upgrade skills means falling behind, as the "treadmill" of knowledge speeds up.

Habits of deep learning. Successful individuals, like Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, dedicate significant time to "deep learning" – reading books and thoroughly exploring subjects, rather than just skimming online tidbits. The author's formula for staying well-informed involves:

• Getting up an hour early to read.
• Consuming multiple magazines and newspapers daily.
• Listening to educational audio programs.
  This consistent intake of knowledge builds confidence and provides a powerful edge in any discussion or decision-making process.

Self-influence and attraction. Being well-informed also extends to understanding oneself and universal principles. The author highlights three insights for unlocking personal potential:

• You become what you think about most of the time.
• You become what you teach.
• You teach what you most need to learn.
  These principles, combined with the Law of Attraction (requiring faith and consistent action), emphasize the power of positive thought and continuous self-development in influencing one's own life and attracting desired outcomes.

7. Thorough Preparation is the Foundation of All Success

Even if you’ve prepared a hundred times, prepare one more time. Just one small detail may give you an edge.

The power of overpreparation. Influential individuals are meticulously prepared, often "overpreparing" for every important project, presentation, or meeting. This guiding principle acknowledges that even a single overlooked detail can make a critical difference. In a fast-paced world, the ability to step back, engage in "deep thought" (System 2 thinking), and thoroughly analyze information is paramount, especially when consequences are significant.

Strategic decision-making. Daniel Kahneman's distinction between "fast thinking" (System 1) and "slow thinking" (System 2) is crucial. While fast thinking is suitable for minor, reversible decisions, slow thinking is essential for high-consequence choices like career paths or major investments. Influential people avoid the common mistake of making big decisions with too little thought, instead considering all ramifications like a skilled chess player.

Data-driven diligence. Modern influence relies heavily on data and rapid testing. The "AB testing" method allows for quick validation of ideas by comparing different offerings to test groups. In business, this means:

• "If you don't have data, then all you have is an opinion."
• Testing small changes to offerings to prove effectiveness.
  For securing venture capital or hiring talent, thorough due diligence and a proven track record are non-negotiable. Lenders prioritize safety and consistency, requiring entrepreneurs to hit their financial projections accurately, demonstrating a deep understanding of their business.

8. Show Genuine Interest and Unconditional Love for Others

Brian Tracy’s Simple, Essential Step for Loving Others: Become genuinely interested, even fascinated, with other people.

Cultivating charisma. Charisma isn't an innate trait but a cultivated skill, rooted in genuine interest in others. To be influential, make people feel important by asking questions about them and listening intently, as if their every word is fascinating. This approach, similar to effective sales, involves a series of open-ended questions like "What do you do?" and "How did you get into that line of work?"

Motivating through self-improvement. In management, influence means understanding that people act for their own reasons, not yours. To motivate employees, show them how doing a good job will directly improve their situation – leading to greater contribution, respect, responsibility, and income. This aligns individual aspirations with organizational goals, fostering a motivated and productive workforce.

Consensus and respect in relationships. Influential leaders foster consensus in meetings by seeking input in advance and creating an environment where all ideas are valued. In personal relationships, particularly with family, unconditional love and respect are paramount. The author's approach with his children – never forcing, always supporting, and being open to their reasoned arguments – built a foundation of trust and mutual influence, demonstrating that respect is the bedrock of lasting, positive relationships.

9. Master Clear Communication and Active Listening

Good communication is a message that is fully received and understood by the listener.

Clarity is key. Effective communication is about ensuring your message is not just sent, but fully received and understood by the listener, free from "noise" or misinterpretation. In an age of condensed thoughts and multiple word meanings, clarity is paramount. Misunderstandings, even over a single word or comma, can have significant consequences, as illustrated by legal disputes or historical military blunders.

Developing communication prowess. Communication skills are learnable, not inherent. Joining public speaking groups like Toastmasters, reading books by great communicators, and actively practicing speaking are essential steps. The more you speak and engage, the more confident and articulate you become, opening doors to new opportunities and enhancing your perceived intelligence.

Combating digital distraction. In the digital age, electronic interruptions severely hamper effective communication and productivity. Influential individuals manage these distractions by:

• Delaying email checks until later in the morning.
• Turning off notifications and devices during focused work.
• Leaving phones outside meetings.
  This discipline ensures full presence and attention, preventing the "dopamine jolt" addiction and allowing for genuine, undistracted interaction and task completion.

10. Exhibit Impeccable Manners and Professional Appearance

95% of the first impression that you make, is the result of how you look on the outside.

Universal courtesy. Good manners are a universal key that opens doors in all cultures and social settings. Instilling basic politeness – "hello, how are you?, please, and thank you" – from childhood is crucial, as these simple phrases can navigate you through any country. Beyond basic courtesy, good manners extend to active, patient, and 100% attentive listening, demonstrating respect and integrity in every interaction.

The power of image. Your image and appearance are powerful non-verbal communicators, forming 95% of a first impression. Dressing professionally, like the successful people you aspire to be, attracts positive attention and conveys competence and respect. The author's personal experience of upgrading his wardrobe dramatically increased his sales and opened new opportunities, proving that looking successful encourages others to treat you as such.

Conscious presentation. Choosing to dress poorly or casually, especially without having earned the right through significant success, sends a message of disrespect and can hinder career advancement. Successful individuals in casual environments often have professional attire ready for important meetings, understanding that presentation matters. You consciously choose how you present yourself to the world, and people will inevitably judge you based on that choice, making it vital to project an image of success and capability.

11. Persevere Relentlessly, Deciding Never to Give Up

It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts.

The ultimate quality. Perseverance is the tenth and arguably most important quality of influential people, as problems and setbacks are inevitable in life. The key lies in how one responds to these difficulties. Influential individuals preprogram themselves mentally to "never give up," deciding in advance to always respond positively and "bounce rather than break" when faced with adversity.

Cultivating an unyielding mindset. This unwavering resolve can be instilled from a young age, as the author did with his children, telling them, "You never give up." This belief becomes an operating principle, making quitting unthinkable. It counters the "expediency factor" – the human tendency to seek the fastest, easiest path with little regard for long-term consequences – by fostering a commitment to sustained effort over quick fixes.

The long game of success. True entrepreneurial success and wealth are rarely achieved through "killer apps" or overnight tricks. Instead, they are the result of years of consistent, hard work – an average of seven to ten years for a first-time millionaire, and twenty-two years for self-made millionaires. Influential people understand that success is a marathon, not a sprint, requiring relentless dedication and an unshakeable belief in their ability to overcome any obstacle.

Last updated: January 2, 2026