Point Man

1. You Are the Point Man: War Has Been Declared on Your Family

Leading a family through the chaos of American culture is like leading a small patrol through enemy-occupied territory.

Acknowledge the battle. The modern family is under attack, facing a spiritual war with real casualties. As a husband and father, you are the "point man," leading your family through dangerous territory where their survival depends on your leadership. This isn't an imaginary scenario; it's a daily reality.

Satan's primary strategies. The enemy has two specific goals in this war:

• To alienate and sever a husband's relationship with his wife (physical or emotional).
• To alienate and sever a father's relationship with his children (physical or emotional).
  These divisions weaken the family, making it vulnerable to further attack.

Neutralize the man, neutralize the family. Satan's ultimate strategy is to neutralize the man. If a man is passive or indifferent to spiritual leadership, he's already neutralized. But when a man commits to leading his family for Christ, he can expect opposition. This calls for active, intentional leadership, not passivity.

2. Save the Boys: Fathers Are the Key to the Next Generation

A boy is the only thing that God can use to make a man.

Fathers shape identity. The crisis in the American family stems from men abandoning their God-appointed roles. Boys, in particular, need strong male role models to learn what it means to be a man. Without a father's consistent presence and example, boys grow up without a clear understanding of their future responsibilities as husbands and fathers.

The Industrial Revolution's impact. Historically, fathers raised their sons in a master/apprentice relationship, working together and teaching life skills. The Industrial Revolution, however, separated fathers from their homes for long hours, leading to:

• Less time with children
• Less influence on their development
• Erosion of the male role model
  This shift broke a generational chain of father-son training, contributing to today's crisis.

Error increases with distance. To "save the boys" (and girls), fathers must be present—both physically and emotionally. Physical absence is obvious, but emotional distance can be equally crippling, leaving children wounded and confused. Conscious, consistent effort is required to bridge this gap and provide the necessary guidance.

3. Real Men Don't Commit Adultery: Treason Against Your Family

In the war on the family, adultery is treason.

Adultery is not an "affair." The term "affair" sugarcoats a destructive act. Adultery is treason against your marriage covenant, a betrayal that devastates families. It's an escape from reality or a search for meaning outside marriage, often fueled by discontent and unmet needs.

The subtle setup. Adultery often begins innocently:

• Frustration or boredom in marriage.
• An attractive, understanding colleague or friend appears.
• Emotional connection develops through shared conversations and perceived appreciation.
  This subtle emotional "hook" can quickly lead to physical betrayal, as pride convinces a man he can "handle it."

Consequences are severe. While forgiveness is available, adultery carries profound practical consequences, shattering trust, integrity, and family stability. It's a dead-end road that promises happiness but delivers regret. Real men protect themselves by anticipating temptation, taking extreme action (like fleeing), and counting the devastating cost.

4. Be a One-Woman Kind of Man: Unwavering Commitment

Semper Fidelis. ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

Burn your ships. Commitment means eliminating options and refusing to turn back, regardless of future challenges or personal convenience. Like Cortés burning his ships, a man must commit daily to his marriage, understanding that true happiness often comes from responsible living, not selfish pursuit.

Commitment in action: A "one-woman kind of man" demonstrates faithfulness through:

• Eyes: Disciplining his gaze to avoid lust, making a covenant with his eyes (Job 31:1).
• Mind: Aggressively capturing illicit thoughts, turning temptation into an opportunity for prayer and blessing.
• Lips: Avoiding flirtatious jokes or comments that undermine marital sanctity.
• Hands: Being careful and appropriate in physical contact with other women.
• Feet: Fleeing from immoral situations (1 Corinthians 6:18), actively removing himself from tempting environments.

Extreme measures are necessary. Jesus advocated extreme action against temptation (Matthew 5:27-30). This might mean removing a hotel TV, avoiding certain media, or seeking accountability. Such measures are not overreactions but essential defenses in spiritual warfare.

5. Combat Spiritual Anorexia: Feed on God's Word Daily

Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

Spiritual anorexia is rampant. Many Christian men suffer from spiritual anorexia—an aversion to reading Scripture. They revere the Bible but rarely read it, leading to spiritual weakness and ineffectiveness in family leadership. This is a primary tactic of the enemy to keep men from reaching their full potential.

Spiritual bulimia is worse. Even more dangerous is spiritual bulimia—consistently reading or hearing God's Word without personal application. Knowledge without obedience leads to spiritual malnourishment, as truth is "vomited up" before it can be digested and integrated into life.

Meditation is the antidote. The solution is consistent scriptural meditation, which is "to the soul what digestion is to the body." This involves:

• Reading with understanding.
• Pondering the significance of God's Word.
• Applying it to one's life and circumstances.
  This daily "morning briefing" provides spiritual nutrition, discernment, and reinforces convictions, enabling a man to stand firm against cultural currents.

6. Master Aerobic Kneeling: Consistent Prayer Builds Endurance

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Prayer is spiritual exercise. Just as physical exercise builds endurance for a marathon, "aerobic kneeling" (prayer) builds spiritual endurance for the Christian life. It's a vital complement to Scripture intake, providing strength and guidance for spiritual battle.

Realistic goals for prayer. While some spiritual giants prayed for hours daily, this is not the norm. A realistic, achievable goal for spiritual fitness is 30 minutes of focused prayer, three to four times a week. This consistent, intentional time with God yields immense dividends, both now and eternally.

A plan for aerobic spiritual fitness: To overcome common hurdles like wandering minds or boredom, a plan is essential:

• Plan a time: Ideally, start the day with a "morning briefing."
• Plan a place: A private, undisturbed location.
• Make a list: Pray specifically for family, church, leaders, and personal needs.
• Begin with Scripture: Use Bible reading to warm up to prayer.
• Accountability: Share your commitment with a trusted friend or spouse for encouragement.

7. Teamwork in the Marriage Cockpit: Lead with Understanding and Accountability

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.

Husband as head, wife as co-pilot. The husband is the "head" of the wife, meaning he has God-ordained authority and primary responsibility for family decisions, much like a captain in a cockpit. This headship is not authoritarianism but servant leadership, valuing the wife's input and working as a team.

Mature leadership characteristics: A husband practicing biblical headship:

• Loves sacrificially: Giving the best of himself, serving his wife in tangible ways, recognizing her value.
• Loves with understanding: Showing insight and tact, listening to her feelings, and seeking to comprehend her perspective.
• Loves with verbal praise: Expressing appreciation and honor, knowing that neglecting this can hinder his prayers.

Mutual accountability is crucial. Marriage is two people tied together, requiring mutual accountability—a willingness to explain actions to each other. A wife is a "strategic gift," offering unique perspectives and strengths that protect against mistakes. Intimidation, like a captain silencing a co-pilot, is destructive and has no place in a Christian home.

8. Embrace Parenthood: Children Are a Gift, Not an Inconvenience

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD; The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Challenging childless choices. A growing trend among Christian couples is choosing not to have children, often for reasons like "this isn't the world I want to bring a child into" or "we can't afford it." These reasons often mask selfishness and a pursuit of immediate gratification over long-term satisfaction.

Children are a blessing. Scripture clearly states children are a gift and a reward. Delaying or avoiding parenthood for financial security is an illusion; true security is in Christ. While children may require a lower standard of living, they dramatically increase the quality of life and bring unparalleled joy.

God uses children to refine us. Having children is one of the most significant accomplishments a man can enjoy. God uses the inherent selfishness of babies to chip away at a parent's own selfishness, fostering spiritual growth and a willingness to serve others in ways previously unimaginable.

9. Be the Compass: Raise Masculine Sons and Feminine Daughters

An Ephesians 6:4 father is the compass boys read to find the correct path to masculinity and girls read to find the right road to femininity.

Fathers shape sexual identity. In a culture that deliberately distorts gender differences, a father is the crucial "compass" guiding children to their God-given sexual identities. Research shows fathers have a more important influence on both sons' masculinity and daughters' femininity than mothers do.

Four moral landmarks for fathers (Ephesians 6:4):

• Fairness: Avoid overprotection (especially for boys), favoritism, discouragement, neglect, or cruelty, which can embitter children.
• Tenderness: Nourish with tender care, showing sympathy, compassion, responsiveness, warmth, and kindness. This is vital for daughters' future sexual adjustment and sons' emotional development.
• Firmness: Provide discipline and admonition (rules, rewards, punishments, teaching, warning, encouragement) "of the Lord." Set boundaries, enforce standards, and be in control, modeling self-control.
• In Christ: Ensure all discipline and instruction are under the quality control of the Holy Spirit, training children, not abusing them.

The result: confident identity. Children raised with fairness, tenderness, and firmness under Christ's influence develop a clear sexual identity and healthy self-confidence. They are equipped to embrace their roles as husbands or wives and raise the next generation for Christ.

10. Be the Instructor: Teach Your Kids About Sex Before the World Does

We should not be ashamed to discuss that which God was not ashamed to create.

You are the primary instructor. In a culture where godless influences like Planned Parenthood infiltrate schools with distorted sex education, fathers are responsible for teaching their children about sexuality. This is a critical generational link to establish, ensuring children receive accurate, biblical information.

Solomon's example: frank and proactive. Proverbs demonstrates a father's direct, clear, and initiative-taking approach to sex education. Solomon warned his son about temptation, described consequences, and highlighted the joy of sexual purity within marriage. This "preventive medicine" prepares children for future challenges.

Eight guidelines for parental sex education:

• Small questions deserve small answers.
• Big questions deserve big answers.
• Frank questions deserve frank answers.
• Be casual and natural to create comfort.
• Look for teachable moments and seize them.
• Use the right terms without embarrassment.
• Consider the age of the child for appropriate detail.
• Let them know they can ask you anything and get a straight answer.

11. Be a Rock and Role Model: Forge a New Generational Link

Jesus Christ is our personal rock and our personal role model.

Midlife crisis and responsibility. Baby boomers, now in midlife, face career plateaus, temptations for divorce, and a search for satisfaction. This period demands wisdom to avoid foolish decisions and fulfill the enormous responsibility to family and God.

Be a rock and a role model. To win the war for your family, you must be:

• A rock: Characterized by unwavering commitment to your wife, active involvement with your children, and a deep desire to follow Christ.
• A role model: Emulating Christ's perfect example, even if your own father wasn't a rock.

Forge a new chain. If your generational chain has negative links, you can consciously choose to become a positive "rock and role model." This decision impacts not only your children but generations to come. Jesus Christ is the ultimate Rock and Role Model, offering strength and support to those who commit to Him.

Last updated: January 3, 2026