Key Takeaways
1. Understand Systemic Bias and Unearned Privilege
Systemic oppression of various groups does not need your intentional or unintentional involvement in order to be alive and operational in our institutions.
Structural problem. Many people believe they are not racist or sexist because they don't intentionally discriminate, but 'isms' are deeply embedded in our societal structures and institutions, operating independently of individual intent. This systemic oppression creates "one-up" (historically advantaged) and "one-down" (historically disadvantaged) groups, giving unearned advantages to some from birth.
Invisible advantages. These unearned advantages, or privileges, are often invisible to those who possess them, like a "tailwind" making their journey easier and faster. For example, buildings designed without considering physical disabilities create unintentional barriers, disadvantaging those who use wheelchairs, regardless of individual intent. Recognizing these structural impediments is crucial for cultural effectiveness.
Beyond good intentions. Being a "good person" is not enough; culturally effective people must acknowledge these systemic realities and actively work to dismantle them. This involves understanding how policies and practices, even seemingly neutral ones, can disproportionately favor one group over another, and then advocating for changes that level the playing field.
2. Recognize Your Own Biases and Cultural Lens
To become capable of being well-doing, we must first become familiar with our biases and use our explicit good beliefs to work hard to counter them.
Human nature. Everyone, regardless of their intentions, carries biases—some explicit and conscious, others implicit and unconscious. These biases are often amplified in stressful situations, making it harder to respond effectively. The first step towards cultural effectiveness is acknowledging that you possess these biases.
Self-discovery. Our biases stem from years of living in a society that has struggled with designations of superiority and inferiority. It's crucial to notice when and where your biases emerge, even if they are against your own group. Tools like the Implicit Association Test (IAT) can help uncover these unconscious leanings.
Countering biases. Once biases are identified, the work begins to counter them with your explicit values and beliefs. This isn't about blame or shame, but about moving from "well-meaning" to "well-doing." By understanding your internal landscape, you can consciously choose behaviors that minimize bias and promote fairness.
3. Validate All Cultures and Seek Commonalities
There are a million points of contact when you think of people as multidimensional rather than simply boxing them in by virtue of one identity or attribute.
Cultural lens. Each person views the world through a unique cultural lens, shaped by their background, experiences, and identities—visible and invisible. This lens influences values, norms, communication styles, and how we interpret others' behaviors. Assuming we have no culture, or that our culture hasn't shaped us, is a culturally ineffective stance.
Beyond the surface. Overly focusing on perceived differences often prevents us from seeing the profound commonalities we share as human beings. Most people desire love, happiness, well-being, meaningful work, and respect. Recognizing these shared aspirations can bridge gaps and foster connection.
Proactive connection. Like Josh at the funeral, actively seeking common ground, even with those who seem most different, can lead to enriching interactions.
- Ask open-ended questions.
- Share your own interests and background first.
- Look for surprising connections (e.g., shared hobbies, favorite TV shows).
- Remember that everyone knows what it feels like to be an outsider.
4. Embrace That Diversity Looks and Sounds Different
If we say that we support diversity, we have to accept that difference is going to look and sound different from what we have become accustomed to.
Accepting change. True diversity means accepting that people will look, sound, and be different from what we're accustomed to, challenging our comfort zones. Comments lamenting "the good old days" or expressing discomfort with unfamiliar names reveal an underlying resistance to genuine diversity.
Respecting identity. Names are a fundamental part of identity, and mispronouncing or shortening them without permission can be a micro-inequity. Studies show that people with difficult-to-pronounce names face discrimination. Making the effort to learn and use correct pronunciations is a simple yet powerful act of respect.
Bystander action. When someone expresses discomfort or makes a biased comment about difference, culturally effective people intervene.
- Ask "What do you mean?" or "Why do you say that?"
- Offer a different perspective or empathize.
- Suggest resources or strategies for learning (e.g., phonetic pronunciations, name-recognition software).
5. Ensure Real Inclusion, Not Just Representation
Diversity is being invited to the party; inclusion is being asked to dance.
Beyond numbers. Diversity is about who is present in an organization, but inclusion is about who is respected, expected, and integrated. The Harvard Law School example, where women had no bathrooms, illustrates how a lack of inclusion can send a powerful message of disrespect, even when diversity numbers are met.
Structural details. True inclusion requires examining and changing the "details" of an institution—its policies, practices, and informal systems—to ensure they accommodate and value diverse needs and worldviews. What feels "normal" to the one-up group may be a significant barrier to others.
Soliciting input. It's hard for those in the majority to see what's missing. Organizations must actively seek input from underrepresented groups to understand their experiences and needs.
- Ask newcomers what would make them feel welcome.
- Employ diverse strategies to solicit ideas (e.g., anonymous surveys, round-robins).
- Conduct cultural audits to identify disparities in experience.
6. Challenge Descriptive Bias and Stereotypes
We have a picture in our heads of what a doctor, a leader, an astronaut, or even a president should look like based on years of seeing only one group in this position due to the historical exclusion of others.
Mental images. Descriptive bias occurs when our unconscious mental images of certain roles (e.g., doctor, leader) are narrow, often reflecting historical patterns of exclusion. This can lead us to question the competence of individuals who don't fit that preconceived image, as seen in the author's interaction with the South Asian woman doctor.
Impact on advancement. This bias significantly affects subjective processes like promotions and leadership selection. Decision-makers may unconsciously seek candidates who fit their "in-group" description of a leader, overlooking equally or more qualified individuals who possess different attributes or come from underrepresented groups.
Broadening perspectives. To challenge descriptive bias, we must consciously broaden our mental pictures of who can competently fill various roles.
- Examine your body language and tone when interacting with those who challenge your stereotypes.
- Talk to yourself, reminding yourself of your belief in universal competence.
- For organizations, scrutinize leadership criteria to ensure they reflect genuine, evolving competencies rather than traditional, often male-centric, attributes.
7. Actively Interrupt Bias and In-Group Favoritism
When someone from the more privileged status interrupts, it works because that person is usually not regarded as too sensitive or having a personal axe to grind.
Active bystander. When witnessing biased comments or behavior, culturally effective people become "active bystanders" rather than passive observers. Intervening, especially by someone from a privileged position, validates the offended person, reinforces organizational commitment to diversity, and discourages future unacceptable behavior.
In-group favoritism. This bias involves unconsciously favoring individuals who share similar attributes, backgrounds, or experiences with us, often mistaking this "likeness" for merit. This can lead to unfair assessments in hiring, promotions, and opportunities, perpetuating a lack of diversity.
Graceful intervention. Interrupting bias doesn't require aggression; a welcoming, nonjudgmental tone is often most effective.
- Use "I" statements: "I have a hard time hearing that..."
- Ask clarifying questions: "What do you mean by that?"
- Offer a different perspective: "Actually, my experience has been..."
- Practice in low-risk situations to build confidence.
8. Use Mistakes as Opportunities for Growth
There is no perfection in this game. If you are a perfectionist, this work is not for you.
Inevitable errors. In the journey toward cultural effectiveness, making mistakes is inevitable, especially when stepping outside one's comfort zone. The author's experience with misgendering her transgender colleague, Tony, highlights how deeply ingrained associations can be, and how difficult it is to change language patterns.
Humble attitude. Cultural competence requires humility and a willingness to acknowledge what you don't know. Instead of shying away from mistakes or becoming defensive, embrace them as learning moments. This openness can create a safe space for others to also learn and evolve.
Learning and evolving. When mistakes happen, the key is to:
- Welcome correction as an opportunity for learning and deepening relationships.
- Take responsibility for educating yourself (reading, resources like GLAAD).
- Engage rather than disengage, even if it feels uncomfortable.
- Understand that change takes time and patience, both for yourself and others.
9. Learn to Apologize Sincerely and Effectively
When we make a mistake with people we care about and see we have hurt them, our healthy urge is to apologize.
Intent vs. impact. A sincere apology acknowledges that your intent may not have matched the impact of your words or actions. It prioritizes the relationship and the other person's feelings over defending your own intentions. This is crucial for building trust, especially across cultural differences.
Courageous act. Apologizing, particularly when not explicitly called out, is a powerful act of courage and self-regard. It demonstrates a commitment to cultural effectiveness over preserving a flawless self-image. Downplaying or ignoring mistakes can exacerbate situations and hinder authentic relationships.
Effective apologies. A good apology is:
- Timely: Easier and cleaner when offered sooner.
- Specific: Identifies what you are apologizing for.
- Sincere: Avoids being stingy, begrudging, or overly dramatic.
- Empathetic: Shows understanding of the other person's experience.
- Action-oriented: Implies a commitment to doing better.
10. Proactively Expand Your Comfort Zone and Circles
If you want to know how to say the right thing or how not to say the wrong thing, you have to connect.
Beyond familiar. To be culturally effective, you must be willing to expand your social and professional circles beyond those who are "like you." This means actively seeking out new networks and engaging with people from diverse backgrounds, even if it means stepping into unfamiliar or initially uncomfortable environments.
Mutual benefit. Expanding your circle not only helps you learn about other cultures but also allows you to lend your influence and connections to talented individuals from one-down groups. This reciprocal engagement breaks down barriers, fosters personal growth, and enriches everyone involved.
Intentional outreach.
- Invite diverse colleagues for coffee, lunch, or social events.
- Visit others in their neighborhoods or preferred hangouts.
- Share your own life and interests to encourage deeper connection.
- When planning events, consider the comfort and interests of all groups (e.g., accessibility, religious observances, cultural preferences).
- Seek opportunities to be in the minority yourself, approaching with humility and a willingness to listen.
11. Maintain High Standards with Equitable Support
When you believe in people’s abilities and they make mistakes, you correct them and expect them to be able to use that critique to improve.
Avoid "sloppy sentimentalism." This is a form of "dysfunctional rescuing" where individuals from one-up groups, often unconsciously, lower expectations or withhold critical feedback from those in one-down groups. This "help that doesn't help" ultimately sets people up for failure, as seen with Jessica and Evangeline.
Fair application. The "one-mistake rule" disproportionately penalizes individuals from underrepresented groups, magnifying their errors while minimizing their accomplishments. Culturally effective leaders apply criteria fairly, considering the entirety of a person's performance and experience level, rather than relying on automatic, biased associations.
Supportive accountability.
- Expect success: Communicate high expectations and provide the necessary resources.
- Give direct feedback: Address problems early and constructively, ensuring standards are clear.
- Investigate assessments: Question whether critiques are fair and free from "leniency bias" (being flexible with in-group, strict with out-group).
- Encourage questions: Create an environment where asking for clarification is seen as a strength, not a weakness.
- Decipher unwritten rules: Help newcomers navigate cultural norms and expectations that may not be obvious.
12. Commit to Continuous Diversity Learning and Sponsorship
So much about getting good at this work has nothing to do with cognitive intelligence. In fact, real progress usually begins when we develop emotional, social, and spiritual intelligence—when we humble ourselves to learn what we don’t know.
Beyond intellect. True cultural effectiveness requires more than just intellectual understanding; it demands emotional, social, and spiritual intelligence. Engaging in diversity training, especially those that foster empathy and "aha moments," is crucial for shifting paradigms and deepening commitment.
Ongoing journey. Diversity training is not a one-time event but an ongoing process. It's vital to participate in workshops (intergroup and intragroup), approach them with an open mind, and be willing to share and listen without blame or shame. Leaders should be trained first, demonstrating genuine commitment.
Active sponsorship. Sponsorship goes beyond mentoring; it means actively taking responsibility for another's success, particularly for talented individuals from one-down groups. Like Scott Harshbarger sponsoring the author, it involves:
- Using your power and influence to create career-defining opportunities.
- Providing direct guidance and feedback, even on personal presentation.
- Increasing visibility and advocating for fair compensation and recognition.
- Helping them strategize and navigate organizational politics.
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