What We Value

1. The Brain's Value System Drives All Choices.

When neuroscientists talk about value, we mean, most basically, the amount of reward your brain expects you to derive from a particular action in a particular moment.

Hidden calculation. Every choice, from what to eat to whom to vote for, is processed by your brain's "value system." This system, primarily involving the ventromedial prefrontal cortex and ventral striatum, boils down complex options into a "subjective value" on a common scale, allowing for rapid comparison and decision-making. It's like an internal "Would You Rather?" game, constantly weighing disparate elements like moral values, economic costs, mood, and social opinions.

Learning from outcomes. After a choice is made, your value system tracks the actual reward received versus the expected reward, generating "prediction errors." A positive error (better than expected) reinforces the choice, making it more likely in the future, while a negative error (worse than expected) prompts an update to the value calculation. This dynamic learning process means your preferences are not fixed but constantly adapting based on experience.

Intervention points. Understanding this three-stage process—identifying options, choosing the highest-value one, and tracking the outcome—reveals crucial intervention points for change. You can expand the range of possibilities you consider, re-evaluate existing options from different angles, or consciously pay attention to different aspects of the outcome. This allows for more deliberate alignment of daily decisions with long-term goals, moving beyond automatic responses.

2. Your Identity Shapes What You Value.

Making choices that feel congruent with our sense of who we are feels rewarding, and decisions that don’t fit our sense of self can be more challenging.

Self-relevance is key. Your brain's "self-relevance system," encompassing regions like the medial prefrontal cortex, posterior cingulate, and precuneus, actively constructs your sense of "me" versus "not me." This system filters experiences based on personal significance, weaving together memories, current feelings, and future aspirations to form a coherent self-story. What feels "like me" is inherently perceived as more valuable.

Positive illusions. Most people harbor positive illusions about themselves, tending to believe they are "above average" in desirable traits. This optimistic bias, while protective of self-esteem, can also lead to conflating "me" with "good," making it difficult to accept information that challenges our self-image. This entanglement of self-relevance and value means our identity directly influences our choices, often favoring what aligns with our perceived best self.

Flexible identity. While a core identity provides comfort and coherence, it can also constrain growth. Recognizing that identity is a constellation of traits, some more central than others, allows for flexibility. Practices like meditation can loosen rigid self-concepts, making us more open to new ideas and transformations. By intentionally focusing on how a desired change aligns with a positive aspect of our identity, we can make it feel more natural and rewarding.

3. Social Influence Rewires Your Brain's Values.

When we pay attention to what other people think and do, it can change not only our outward behavior but also our own value calculations, privately held beliefs, and who we are.

The social brain. Your "social relevance system," involving areas like the temporoparietal junction and dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, constantly predicts what others are thinking, feeling, and doing. This "mentalizing" ability is crucial for social interaction and coordination, but it also makes us highly susceptible to social influence. We are wired to care deeply about what others think, as evidenced by the "social pain" experienced during rejection and the reward from positive social feedback.

Conformity is powerful. Studies show that learning about peers' opinions can literally rewire your brain's value calculations, even for subjective judgments like attractiveness. This isn't just public conformity; your underlying preferences shift. This phenomenon, known as "social proof," is so effective that it's used in everything from energy bills (showing how your consumption compares to neighbors) to health campaigns, often influencing behavior without conscious awareness.

Beware of manipulation. While social influence can foster positive change and connection, it also makes us vulnerable to manipulation. The "emperor's new clothes" phenomenon and Asch conformity experiments demonstrate how group pressure can lead individuals to ignore clear evidence. In the digital age, where algorithms amplify certain narratives and disinformation spreads rapidly, understanding how social relevance shapes our beliefs is critical for discerning useful information from harmful influence.

4. To Change Your Mind, Change Your Focus.

If you want to change the value of different choices for yourself or someone else, changing how you think about the situation can change how you feel, which can in turn change what you do.

Present bias. Your brain's value system naturally prioritizes immediate rewards over future benefits, a phenomenon called "temporal discounting" or "present bias." Future You is often treated like a different person, making long-term goals (like saving for retirement or eating healthy) feel less valuable than instant gratification. This inherent bias means that simply knowing what's good for you isn't always enough to drive change.

Immediate rewards matter. To bridge the gap between present desires and future goals, focus on making the desired behavior immediately rewarding.

• Temptation bundling: Pair a disliked activity with an enjoyable one (e.g., listening to a favorite podcast only while exercising).
• Reframing: Emphasize the immediate pleasure or fun of a healthy choice (e.g., "Sizzlin' Szechuan Green Beans" instead of "Nutritious Green Beans").
• Future self-connection: Interacting with an aged avatar of yourself or consciously reflecting on long-term consequences can make future rewards feel more salient.

Reappraisal as a tool. When faced with undesirable situations or emotions, you can actively change how you think about them to change how you feel. "Reappraisal" involves reinterpreting a situation to alter its emotional impact. This can mean finding new interpretations, focusing on different aspects, or taking an objective, distanced perspective. This cognitive control can dampen negative emotions or even amplify positive ones, aligning your feelings with your goals.

5. Overcome Defensiveness by Affirming Core Values.

Values affirmation helps people see or remember that their self-worth doesn’t hinge on a single behavior.

The defensiveness trap. When new information or feedback threatens our self-image or established habits, our brain's self-relevance and value systems can trigger defensiveness. This reflexive shutdown prevents us from considering potentially beneficial insights, especially when the topic is central to our identity. The "endowment effect" illustrates this, showing how we overvalue things (objects, ideas, habits) simply because they are "ours."

Affirm your core. To reduce defensiveness and foster openness, engage in "values affirmation." This involves reflecting on what truly matters most to you—your core values like compassion, family, or creativity. Studies show that briefly affirming these values makes your brain more receptive to challenging information, increasing activity in value and self-relevance systems, and making you more likely to adopt new behaviors.

Strategic timing and purpose. Values affirmation is most effective when applied before or immediately after a potential threat or challenge, preventing defensiveness from solidifying. Small, consistent affirmations can build a stronger sense of purpose, which further reduces threat responses and makes it easier to embrace change. Self-transcendent values (connecting to others) are particularly potent, as they shift focus away from narrow self-definition, fostering greater openness.

6. Connect the Dots: Diverse Perspectives Fuel Innovation.

Being able to pick up the phone and call people who have different kinds of expertise and perspectives helps us solve problems creatively and productively.

Information brokers. Individuals who connect diverse people and ideas, like journalist Tonya Mosley or Adidas's Roland Seydel, act as "information brokers." They build mental maps of who knows what, identifying complementary expertise and bridging gaps between different social circles. This ability to synthesize varied perspectives is crucial for creative problem-solving and innovation, often leading to greater professional success.

Beyond status. Our brains naturally prioritize the perspectives of higher-status or more similar individuals, a bias that can limit our access to novel ideas. Leaders, especially, may unconsciously pay less attention to the views of those with less power. Actively seeking out diverse perspectives—from different cultural backgrounds, roles, or even "wise ones" outside traditional expert circles—can challenge assumptions and reveal new opportunities.

Cultivating curiosity. Developing "curiosity" is key to connecting disparate dots. This involves proactively auditing the sources of information you consume and the people you engage with, expanding beyond your immediate network. By asking genuine questions, listening openly, and being willing to explore unfamiliar territory, you can foster deeper understanding, spark new ideas, and build stronger, more innovative collaborations.

7. Brain Synchrony is the Foundation of Connection.

Shared understanding often involves two (or more) people’s brains physically doing the same thing, mirroring one another’s ups and downs, or at least coordinating in a way where one person’s brain signals can be predicted from another’s.

In sync, in tune. When people interact, their brains and bodies often synchronize, a phenomenon observed even in social bats. This "brain-to-brain synchrony" is more than a metaphor; it's a neural foundation for successful communication and shared understanding. The more aligned our brain activity, the better we comprehend each other's stories, learn from teachers, or coordinate in team tasks.

Birds of a feather. Friends and people with shared life experiences tend to exhibit more similar brain patterns, even during mind-wandering. This "brains of a feather flock together" effect suggests that shared context, including media consumption, shapes how our brains interpret the world. Consuming the same news or stories can bring brains into sync, while different media diets can lead to divergence in understanding and political polarization.

Strategic divergence. While synchrony is beneficial, constant perfect alignment can hinder creativity and exploration. The goal isn't always perfect sync, but rather "strategic divergence." Establishing common ground allows for deeper exploration of new topics and perspectives, leading to richer conversations and more innovative solutions. Groups with central, flexible members who ask probing questions achieve deeper neural alignment than those dominated by high-status individuals pushing a single viewpoint.

8. Sharing is a Fundamental Human Drive.

Disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding.

The reward of self-disclosure. Humans are inherently motivated to share information, especially about themselves. Studies show that self-disclosure activates the brain's value system, making it intrinsically rewarding—people are even willing to forgo money to share personal details. This drive helps us bond, coordinate with others, and make sense of our own experiences, forming a crucial building block of relationships.

Beyond personal stories. Sharing ideas, news, and memes also serves as a form of self-expression, signaling who we are and what we care about. When content feels personally relevant, we are more motivated to share it. Simple prompts that encourage individuals to connect information to their own experiences or to consider its social relevance can significantly increase sharing, amplifying messages across networks.

The power to spread. What we choose to share, and how, has a ripple effect. Brain activity in a small group can predict the global virality of news articles, especially when the content resonates with those less predisposed to it. However, this power can be exploited; anonymity can reduce caution in sharing harmful content, and platforms can amplify outrage by rewarding its expression. Understanding these mechanisms allows us to be more intentional about what we spread and why.

9. Individual Choices Shape Collective Culture.

It’s not only that we make ourselves with the choices we make—the choices we make, together, in the long run, create the world we live in.

Culture's deep influence. Culture profoundly shapes our values, identities, and even how our brains process information. For example, Western cultures often emphasize independence, while East Asian cultures prioritize interdependence, influencing how self- and social relevance are processed. These cultural norms inform everything from our food preferences to our political beliefs and how we respond to compliments.

Breaking the mold. While culture is powerful, it's not deterministic. Our individual identities—shaped by age, race, gender, and personal experiences—interact with cultural expectations. When individuals defy stereotypes or act incongruently with dominant norms, it can activate unique brain responses and potentially shift the cultural needle. This interplay highlights the potential for individuals to challenge and reshape norms.

The ripple effect. Every choice we make, no matter how small, influences others. Our actions, from volunteering to voting, set examples that change how others calculate value and behave. Studies show that "seed students" modeling anti-bullying behavior can significantly reduce conflict in schools, and even our food choices can influence friends' diets. By consciously aligning our actions with our desired values and openly communicating our decision-making, we can contribute to a positive feedback loop that gradually transforms collective norms and creates the world we want to live in.

Last updated: January 11, 2026