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While I Was Sleeping

While I Was Sleeping

by Dani Atkins 2018 453 pages
4.2
4.3K ratings
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Plot Summary

Wedding Plans Interrupted

A bride's perfect day derailed

Maddie, days away from her wedding and newly pregnant, is swept up in the joy of her future with Ryan. But a series of unsettling encounters and a sense of being followed culminate in a tragic accident—she is struck by a van while running to meet her fiancé. In an instant, her life is upended. The world she knew, filled with anticipation and love, is replaced by darkness and silence. The emotional whiplash is immediate: from hope and excitement to fear and uncertainty. The chapter sets the tone for a story about the fragility of happiness and the unpredictability of fate, as Maddie's dreams are shattered in a single, irreversible moment.

Six Years Lost

Awakening to a vanished life

Maddie emerges from a coma to discover that six years have passed. The world has moved on without her: her body is frail, her mother's health has declined, and, most devastatingly, Ryan is no longer hers. He is married to Chloe, and together they are raising a daughter, Hope. Maddie's grief is compounded by the realization that she has missed not only her own life but also the birth and early years of her child. The emotional landscape is one of confusion, loss, and profound dislocation, as Maddie struggles to comprehend the enormity of what she has lost and the impossibility of reclaiming it.

Waking to a New World

Confronting irreversible change

Maddie's return is met with a mixture of joy, guilt, and awkwardness. Ryan is torn between his past love and his present life, while Chloe, the woman who stepped into Maddie's place, is both threatened and compassionate. Maddie's father is overjoyed but burdened by the toll her absence has taken on the family. The world is both familiar and alien, and Maddie must navigate relationships that have evolved without her. The emotional arc is one of tentative reconnection, as Maddie tries to find her place in a world that no longer has a space reserved for her.

Love Rewritten

A triangle of heartbreak and hope

The story delves into the complex dynamics between Maddie, Ryan, and Chloe. Ryan's loyalty is tested as he grapples with his enduring love for Maddie and his commitment to Chloe and Hope. Chloe, once Maddie's hospital volunteer and now Ryan's wife, is forced to confront her own insecurities and the reality of sharing her family with the woman she replaced. Maddie, meanwhile, is haunted by what might have been and the knowledge that her daughter knows another woman as "Mummy." The emotional tension is palpable, as love is redefined and boundaries are redrawn.

The Daughter She Never Knew

A mother's bittersweet reunion

Maddie learns that her daughter, Hope, survived the accident and was born while Maddie was still in a coma. Hope has grown up believing Chloe is her mother, and Maddie is a distant cousin. The revelation is both a miracle and a source of anguish. Maddie is allowed to meet Hope, but only under the guise of a relative. The pain of watching her child call another woman "Mummy" is almost unbearable, yet Maddie is determined to be part of Hope's life, however limited her role may be. The chapter is a study in longing, sacrifice, and the quiet heroism of loving from afar.

The Other Woman's Life

Living in someone else's shadow

Maddie is forced to witness the life she should have had—Ryan's love, a family home, the milestones of her daughter's childhood—all now belonging to Chloe. The sense of displacement is acute, as Maddie navigates the awkwardness of being a guest in her own story. Chloe, for her part, is both gracious and defensive, aware that her happiness is built on another woman's tragedy. The two women circle each other warily, each nursing wounds that the other cannot heal. The emotional complexity deepens as they begin to see each other not just as rivals, but as fellow survivors.

Hope's Two Mothers

A fragile, blended family forms

As Maddie becomes a regular presence in Hope's life, the boundaries between mother, stepmother, and child blur. Hope, bright and perceptive, senses the truth before it is revealed. The adults struggle to manage the fallout, torn between protecting Hope and honoring her right to know her origins. The process is messy and painful, but also redemptive. Maddie and Chloe, once adversaries, begin to forge a tentative alliance, united by their love for Hope. The family is reimagined, not as a traditional unit, but as a constellation of relationships defined by resilience and grace.

Fragile Forgiveness

Letting go of old wounds

The emotional journey shifts toward healing, as Maddie, Ryan, and Chloe confront the past and make peace with the choices that were made in their absence or desperation. Maddie forgives Ryan for moving on, and Chloe for stepping into her life. Ryan, in turn, acknowledges the pain he caused and the impossibility of satisfying everyone's needs. The process is neither linear nor easy, but it is necessary. Forgiveness is portrayed not as a single act, but as a series of small, daily decisions to choose compassion over resentment.

Chloe's Diagnosis

A new crisis threatens the family

Just as the blended family begins to find its footing, Chloe is diagnosed with a brain tumor. The news is devastating, threatening to unravel the fragile peace that has been established. Chloe faces her illness with courage, but the fear of leaving Hope motherless is overwhelming. Maddie steps in to support both Chloe and Ryan, putting aside her own pain to be the friend and co-parent that Hope needs. The chapter is a meditation on mortality, vulnerability, and the ways in which love can expand to include even those who once seemed like adversaries.

Unlikely Friendship

Enemies become allies

The shared ordeal of Chloe's illness brings Maddie and Chloe closer than either could have imagined. They move from wary coexistence to genuine friendship, bonded by their mutual love for Hope and their understanding of what it means to lose everything. Maddie becomes Chloe's confidante and caregiver, driving her to treatments and offering emotional support. The transformation is profound, as both women learn to trust and rely on each other. The emotional arc is one of unexpected kinship, as the lines between friend, family, and rival dissolve.

A Family Reimagined

Redefining what it means to belong

With Chloe's health in flux and Maddie's role in Hope's life solidifying, the family must adapt to new realities. Ryan is forced to confront his own limitations and the depth of his feelings for both women. Hope, now aware of her true parentage, navigates the complexities of having two mothers. The family's structure is unconventional, but it is held together by love, honesty, and a willingness to embrace imperfection. The chapter is a celebration of chosen family and the power of reinvention.

Racing Against Fate

A moment of joy and unity

In a symbolic act of solidarity, Maddie and Chloe participate together in Hope's school sports day, with Maddie pushing Chloe in a wheelchair during the mothers' race. The event is both triumphant and bittersweet, a testament to the strength of their bond and the resilience of their family. The community, once skeptical, now rallies around them, recognizing the extraordinary circumstances that have brought them together. The race becomes a metaphor for their journey: sometimes one leads, sometimes the other, but they cross the finish line together.

The Price of Sacrifice

Choosing others over oneself

As Chloe recovers from surgery and undergoes radiotherapy, Maddie becomes her primary support, often at the expense of her own health. Unbeknownst to the others, Maddie is experiencing symptoms that suggest her own condition is deteriorating. She delays seeking treatment, determined to see Chloe through her recovery and to keep Hope's world stable. The emotional cost is immense, as Maddie sacrifices her own well-being for the sake of those she loves. The chapter explores the limits of selflessness and the quiet heroism of putting others first.

The Second Coma

History repeats in heartbreaking fashion

Maddie collapses and falls into another coma, echoing the tragedy that began the story. The family is once again thrown into crisis, forced to confront the possibility of losing her for good. Hope, now older and more aware, is devastated. Chloe and Ryan, having come to rely on Maddie as both friend and co-parent, are wracked with guilt and grief. The emotional arc is one of sorrow and resignation, as the family must learn to live with yet another absence.

The Waiting Room

Enduring the agony of uncertainty

The narrative lingers in the liminal space of the hospital waiting room, where time stretches and hope flickers. Chloe, Ryan, and Hope take turns sitting with Maddie, talking to her, and willing her to return. The experience is both familiar and uniquely painful, as they are forced to reckon with the fragility of life and the unpredictability of fate. The waiting becomes a crucible, forging deeper bonds and clarifying what truly matters.

Miracles and Goodbyes

Finding meaning in loss and love

As the years pass, Maddie remains in a coma, her fate uncertain. The family adapts, carrying her memory and presence with them as they move forward. Hope grows into a young woman, shaped by the love and sacrifice of both her mothers. Chloe and Ryan honor Maddie's legacy by living fully and loving fiercely, even as they grieve her absence. The story ends on a note of hope, as the possibility of another miracle lingers in the air.

Ten Years Later

A daughter's enduring love

In a poignant epilogue, a teenage Hope visits Maddie in the hospital, sharing her life and dreams with the mother who cannot respond. The bond between them is palpable, transcending words and consciousness. As Hope prepares to leave, Maddie's finger twitches—a subtle but unmistakable sign that she is still present, still fighting, and perhaps, still capable of returning. The story closes with the promise that love endures, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

Characters

Maddie Chambers

A life interrupted, a mother's heart

Maddie is the emotional core of the novel—a vibrant, loving woman whose life is derailed by a tragic accident just before her wedding. Awakening from a six-year coma, she is forced to confront a world that has moved on without her. Her journey is one of loss, resilience, and selfless love, as she navigates the pain of seeing her fiancé married to another and her daughter raised by someone else. Maddie's psychological depth is revealed in her capacity for forgiveness, her willingness to put others first, and her ability to find meaning in suffering. Her relationships with Ryan, Chloe, and Hope are complex, marked by longing, jealousy, and ultimately, grace. Maddie's arc is a testament to the power of endurance and the quiet heroism of loving from the sidelines.

Chloe Turner

The unexpected wife, the steadfast friend

Chloe begins as the "other woman," stepping into Maddie's life during her coma and eventually marrying Ryan. Initially wracked with guilt and insecurity, Chloe's character evolves into one of remarkable strength and compassion. Her diagnosis with a brain tumor becomes a crucible, revealing her courage and her capacity for self-sacrifice. Chloe's relationship with Maddie transforms from rivalry to deep friendship, as they unite in their love for Hope and their shared experience of loss. Psychologically, Chloe is defined by her empathy, her need for belonging, and her willingness to embrace imperfection. Her journey is one of self-discovery, as she learns to let go of fear and trust in the bonds she has built.

Ryan Turner

A man torn between past and present

Ryan is the axis around which the story's emotional conflicts revolve. Once Maddie's devoted fiancé, he is forced by circumstance to move on, marrying Chloe and raising Hope. Ryan's psychological struggle is rooted in guilt, loyalty, and the impossibility of satisfying everyone's needs. He is both a loving father and a man haunted by what might have been. His relationships with Maddie and Chloe are fraught with tension, as he tries to honor his commitments without betraying his heart. Ryan's arc is one of acceptance, as he learns to forgive himself and embrace the family he has, rather than the one he lost.

Hope Turner

The child at the center, a bridge between worlds

Hope is the living embodiment of both Maddie's loss and her legacy. Born while Maddie was in a coma, she is raised by Chloe and knows her only as a distant cousin until the truth is revealed. Hope's psychological journey is one of confusion, adaptation, and ultimately, resilience. She must reconcile the existence of two mothers and the shifting dynamics of her family. Hope's innocence and perceptiveness serve as a catalyst for healing, as her acceptance paves the way for forgiveness and unity.

Bill Chambers

A father's unwavering devotion

Maddie's father is a pillar of strength and stability, anchoring the family through years of uncertainty and loss. His love for Maddie is matched only by his loyalty to his ailing wife, Faye. Bill's psychological resilience is tested by the demands of caregiving and the heartbreak of watching his family unravel. He is a model of quiet endurance, offering wisdom and comfort even as he grieves.

Faye Chambers

A mother lost to time

Faye's battle with dementia mirrors Maddie's own absence, creating a parallel narrative of loss and longing. Her inability to recognize Maddie upon her return is a source of profound pain, but also a reminder of the ways in which love persists even when memory fades. Faye's presence is both a comfort and a sorrow, embodying the novel's themes of impermanence and the enduring nature of family.

Mitch

The gentle anchor, a new beginning

Mitch, Maddie's landlord and eventual confidant, represents the possibility of healing and moving forward. His own experiences with loss and single parenthood create a bond with Maddie, offering her friendship and the hope of a future beyond grief. Mitch's psychological steadiness and humor provide a counterpoint to the novel's more intense emotional currents, grounding Maddie as she rebuilds her life.

Ellen

The compassionate nurse, a thread of continuity

Ellen is a nurse who cares for both Maddie and Chloe at different points in their journeys. Her empathy and wisdom make her a trusted confidante, and her presence serves as a reminder of the importance of kindness and human connection in times of crisis.

Sam

A child's perspective on loss

Mitch's son, Sam, offers a parallel to Hope's experience, navigating the complexities of blended families and the absence of a parent. His friendship with Hope provides comfort and normalcy, highlighting the resilience of children in the face of upheaval.

The Community (School Mums, Hospital Staff)

The chorus of witnesses and supporters

The broader community—school mothers, hospital staff, and friends—serves as both a source of judgment and support. Their reactions reflect societal attitudes toward unconventional families, illness, and forgiveness. Their gradual acceptance mirrors the protagonists' own journeys toward understanding and compassion.

Plot Devices

Dual Timelines and Perspectives

Interweaving past and present, multiple voices

The novel employs a structure that alternates between Maddie's, Chloe's, and occasionally Hope's perspectives, as well as shifting between past and present. This device allows the reader to experience the emotional impact of events from multiple angles, deepening empathy and understanding. The use of flashbacks and time jumps heightens the sense of loss and dislocation, while also providing context for the characters' choices.

The Coma as Metaphor

Suspended lives, the cost of waiting

Maddie's coma—and later, her second one—serves as both a literal and symbolic device. It represents the ways in which life can be put on hold, dreams deferred, and relationships frozen in time. The return from coma is a rebirth, but one that comes with the price of irretrievable loss. The device is used to explore themes of fate, agency, and the limits of forgiveness.

The Blended Family

Redefining kinship and belonging

The novel's central plot device is the creation of a family that defies traditional boundaries. The relationships between Maddie, Chloe, Ryan, and Hope are constantly renegotiated, challenging assumptions about motherhood, loyalty, and love. The device allows for an exploration of what it means to belong, and how families can be forged through choice as much as blood.

Mirroring and Parallels

Echoes of loss and healing

The story is rich with parallels: Maddie's and Chloe's illnesses, their roles as mothers to Hope, and their experiences of being outsiders in their own lives. These mirrored experiences create a sense of symmetry and inevitability, reinforcing the novel's themes of fate and redemption.

Symbolism of Races and Milestones

Physical events as emotional metaphors

Key scenes—such as the mothers' race at sports day—are used as metaphors for the characters' emotional journeys. The act of running together, pushing a wheelchair, or crossing a finish line becomes a stand-in for overcoming adversity, embracing change, and supporting one another through hardship.

Letters and Unspoken Words

The power of what is left unsaid

Letters written for after death, conversations held at hospital bedsides, and the things characters cannot bring themselves to say aloud all serve as devices to explore the limits of communication and the enduring power of love.

Analysis

Dani Atkins' While I Was Sleeping is a masterful exploration of love, loss, and the resilience of the human spirit in the face of unimaginable upheaval. At its heart, the novel asks what it means to be a family when the old rules no longer apply. Through the intertwined lives of Maddie, Chloe, Ryan, and Hope, Atkins challenges the reader to consider the boundaries of forgiveness, the possibility of loving more than one person deeply, and the courage required to let go of the life we thought we deserved. The story's emotional power lies in its refusal to offer easy answers: every act of love is also an act of sacrifice, and every new beginning is haunted by the shadow of what was lost. The novel's structure—shifting perspectives, dual timelines, and mirrored experiences—invites the reader to inhabit the inner worlds of its characters, fostering empathy and understanding. Ultimately, While I Was Sleeping is a celebration of the messy, imperfect, and beautiful ways in which we find our way back to one another, even after the deepest wounds. It is a testament to the idea that miracles are not always about restoration, but about the grace to endure, adapt, and love again.

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Review Summary

4.2 out of 5
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About the Author

Dani Atkins grew up in Cockfosters, London, and began her career working various secretarial jobs in the city. During her daily commute, she developed a passion for reading and aspired to become an author. After her children left home, Atkins pursued her writing dream. She now resides in rural Hertfordshire with her husband and pets. Atkins' debut novels, "Fractured" (known as "Then and Always" in the US) and "The Story of Us," were published in 2014. Her third novel, "Our Song," was released in January 2016. "While I Was Sleeping" is another title in her bibliography of works.

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