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You Deserve Each Other

You Deserve Each Other

by Sarah Hogle 2020 368 pages
3.87
139.8K ratings
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Plot Summary

Drive-In Beginnings, Frosty Hearts

A magical first date, hope and chemistry

Naomi and Nicholas's relationship begins with a spark: a drive-in movie, nervous anticipation, and a first kiss that feels like destiny. Naomi is swept up in Nicholas's charm and the promise of something real, but beneath the surface, both are already performing, eager to impress and afraid to show their true selves. The early days are filled with hope, but also with the seeds of future misunderstandings—each is already hiding small truths, and the pressure to be perfect is quietly building. The memory of this night will haunt Naomi as their engagement progresses, a reminder of what they once had and what they fear they've lost.

Engagement Ennui and Hidden Resentments

Disillusionment grows, love percentage drops

Months into their engagement, Naomi is suffocating under the weight of wedding planning hijacked by Nicholas's overbearing mother, Deborah. The couple's love is measured in percentages—Naomi's affection for Nicholas fluctuates, often dipping alarmingly low. Both are experts at pretending: Naomi acts the part of the happy fiancée, while Nicholas is oblivious or willfully blind to her growing unhappiness. Their home is filled with unspoken grievances, passive-aggressive exchanges, and a sense of being trapped by expectations. The wedding looms, but excitement is replaced by dread and a gnawing sense of being unseen.

Game Night, Social Fault Lines

Public cracks, private battles intensify

When Nicholas reluctantly attends Naomi's friends' game night, the tension between their worlds becomes undeniable. Nicholas is out of place, defensive, and quickly embroiled in petty arguments with Naomi's coworkers. The evening devolves into pointed barbs and thinly veiled insults, exposing the couple's lack of unity and the performative nature of their relationship. Naomi's friends see through the façade, and Naomi herself feels the loss of her old self—the independent, joyful woman she was before becoming "almost Mrs. Rose." The night ends with both partners more isolated than ever, their mutual resentment deepening.

The Art of Pretending

Performing happiness, hiding pain

Naomi and Nicholas become masters of social media deception, curating an image of bliss while privately seething. Their relationship is a series of small lies and silent competitions, each waiting for the other to call off the wedding first. Naomi's sense of self erodes as she tries to meet impossible standards set by Nicholas's family, while Nicholas retreats into work and the comfort of his mother's approval. The couple's inability to communicate honestly leaves them locked in a cold war, each too proud or afraid to admit the truth: they are both deeply unhappy.

Sabotage, Stalemate, and Skittles

Petty revenge escalates, emotional distance widens

The engagement devolves into a battle of wills, with both partners engaging in increasingly childish acts of sabotage—hiding shoes, gluing laces, and weaponizing household chores. Nicholas's mother's interference is relentless, and Naomi's attempts to assert herself are met with passive resistance. The couple's home becomes a battleground, and their love a scoreboard. Yet, beneath the pettiness, there are flickers of longing and vulnerability, moments when each wishes the other would simply ask for what they need. The war continues, but exhaustion and loneliness begin to take their toll.

The War of the Roses

Family drama, wedding sabotage, and shifting alliances

As the wedding approaches, the couple's families become increasingly involved, amplifying the pressure and highlighting the differences between Naomi and Nicholas's upbringings. Deborah's manipulations reach new heights, and Naomi's attempts to reclaim agency are met with both resistance and unexpected support from Nicholas. The couple's shared misery becomes a twisted form of connection, and their mutual sabotage gives way to a grudging respect for each other's cunning. The war is no longer just against each other, but against the expectations and meddling of those around them.

Parental Invasions and Power Plays

Deborah's dominance, Naomi's rebellion

Sunday dinners at the Roses' house are a masterclass in passive-aggression and control. Deborah's constant criticism and manipulation push Naomi to her breaking point, while Nicholas struggles to assert himself. The couple's unity is tested as they navigate the minefield of family obligations, inheritance, and tradition. Naomi's small acts of rebellion—questioning the wedding plans, challenging Deborah's authority—are met with both punishment and a strange sense of liberation. Nicholas begins to see the cost of his mother's influence, and the couple's dynamic shifts as they start to defend each other, however clumsily.

The House That Spite Built

A new home, a new battlefield

In a surprising move, Nicholas buys a house in the woods without consulting Naomi, hoping to force a resolution to their stalemate. The house becomes a symbol of both hope and resentment—a place where they might start over, or a monument to their inability to communicate. As they move in, the couple's petty battles continue, but the isolation and the fresh start begin to thaw their defenses. The house, with its cozy rooms and potential for new memories, offers a chance for transformation—if they can let go of old grudges.

Petty Battles, Secret Longings

Sabotage gives way to vulnerability

The couple's war continues, but the stakes begin to change. Small acts of kindness slip through the cracks—Naomi shovels Nicholas's parents' driveway when he's sick, Nicholas rearranges the house to make space for Naomi's dreams. Their battles become less about winning and more about being seen and understood. The house in the woods becomes a crucible, burning away pretense and forcing both to confront what they truly want. The first hints of genuine friendship and affection reemerge, and the possibility of reconciliation glimmers on the horizon.

Meltdowns, Makeovers, and Murder Flowers

Breaking points, confessions, and new beginnings

A series of emotional meltdowns and honest conversations finally shatter the couple's defenses. Naomi's job loss, Nicholas's vulnerability, and the collapse of their social circles leave them with only each other. They begin to share their fears, dreams, and disappointments, rediscovering the friendship that once underpinned their romance. Small gestures—notes in lunchboxes, shared laughter, and mutual support—replace sabotage. The couple learns to apologize, to forgive, and to hope. The war is over, but the work of rebuilding trust and love has just begun.

The Ceasefire and Small Kindnesses

Tentative peace, rediscovering joy

With the war behind them, Naomi and Nicholas tentatively explore what it means to be partners again. They share secrets, support each other's ambitions, and find joy in the mundane—dancing in the kitchen, playing video games, and planning a future that is truly theirs. The influence of their families wanes as they set boundaries and prioritize each other. The couple's love, once measured in percentages, becomes something deeper and more resilient. They are no longer adversaries, but allies, and the possibility of a happy ending feels real for the first time.

Rediscovering Friendship, Rekindling Love

From enemies to best friends, love rekindled

Naomi and Nicholas rediscover the friendship that made them fall in love, learning to communicate honestly and support each other's growth. They confront their past mistakes, forgive each other, and choose to move forward together. The house in the woods becomes a symbol of their new beginning—a place where they can be themselves, free from the expectations of others. Their love is no longer performative, but genuine, rooted in mutual respect and understanding. The couple is finally ready to build a life together, on their own terms.

Facing the Past, Embracing Change

Letting go, moving forward, new dreams

As Naomi finds new purpose in her career and Nicholas sets boundaries with his family, the couple embraces change and the unknown. They support each other's ambitions, celebrate each other's victories, and weather setbacks as a team. The ghosts of their old relationship are laid to rest, and they create new traditions and memories. The wedding, once a source of dread, becomes an opportunity to affirm their commitment in a way that is meaningful to them. The past no longer defines them; the future is theirs to shape.

The Invitation Catastrophe

A crisis threatens everything, truth emerges

When Naomi discovers that Nicholas has thrown away their wedding invitations, she is devastated, convinced that he no longer wants to marry her. The ensuing confrontation forces both to confront their deepest fears and desires. In a raw, honest conversation, they admit their mistakes, express their love, and choose each other—fully and without reservation. The crisis becomes a turning point, transforming their relationship from one of obligation and resentment to one of choice and joy. They are finally free to write their own story.

Truths, Trash, and Second Chances

Honesty, forgiveness, and a new proposal

With the truth out in the open, Naomi and Nicholas let go of the expectations and obligations that have weighed them down. They reject the wedding planned by others and decide to marry in a way that reflects their true selves. Their proposal is simple, heartfelt, and entirely theirs—a promise to choose each other every day, no matter what. The couple's love, once battered and bruised, is now stronger than ever, forged in the fires of honesty and forgiveness. They are ready to begin again.

The Wedding That's Theirs

A wedding of their own making, love affirmed

Naomi and Nicholas marry in their backyard, surrounded only by those who truly support them. The ceremony is intimate, imperfect, and deeply meaningful—a celebration of their journey and the love they have fought to reclaim. There are no grand gestures or elaborate decorations, just two people choosing each other, flaws and all. The couple's vows are simple but profound: to be each other's champion, to forgive, to laugh, and to love. Their wedding is not the end, but the beginning of a new adventure.

Ever After, Earned

A hard-won happy ending, love redefined

Naomi and Nicholas's story ends not with a fairy-tale promise, but with the hard-earned knowledge that love is a choice, made every day. Their happiness is not effortless, but the result of vulnerability, honesty, and mutual effort. They have learned to see and accept each other, to fight for their relationship, and to find joy in the ordinary. Their ever after is not perfect, but it is real—and it is theirs.

Characters

Naomi Westfield

Cynical romantic, self-saboteur, and survivor

Naomi is the narrator and emotional core of the story—a woman who begins as a hopeful romantic but is quickly disillusioned by the realities of engagement and the loss of agency in her own life. Her wit and sarcasm mask deep insecurities and a fear of being unlovable. Naomi's relationship with Nicholas is fraught with resentment, competition, and longing for authenticity. She is both the architect of her own misery and the agent of her salvation, learning to confront her fears, communicate honestly, and fight for the love she truly wants. Her journey is one of self-discovery, vulnerability, and ultimately, empowerment.

Nicholas Rose

Charming perfectionist, people-pleaser, and secret romantic

Nicholas is Naomi's fiancé, a dentist with a strong sense of duty and a crippling need for approval—especially from his mother, Deborah. Outwardly confident and composed, Nicholas is inwardly plagued by doubts and a fear of failure. His inability to set boundaries and his tendency to retreat into work or passive aggression create distance in his relationship with Naomi. Yet, beneath his flaws, Nicholas is deeply loyal, capable of great kindness, and willing to fight for the woman he loves—once he learns to put her (and himself) first. His arc is one of growth, self-assertion, and rediscovery of joy.

Deborah Rose

Controlling matriarch, master manipulator, and emotional saboteur

Deborah is Nicholas's mother and the primary antagonist of the story. Her need to control every aspect of her son's life—and by extension, Naomi's—creates much of the conflict in the novel. Deborah's passive-aggressive tactics, constant criticism, and emotional blackmail are both a source of comedy and genuine pain. She represents the weight of tradition, expectation, and familial obligation. While she is not without her own vulnerabilities, Deborah's inability to let go or see her son as an adult is ultimately her undoing, as Nicholas and Naomi learn to set boundaries and prioritize their own happiness.

Brandy

Loyal friend, emotional anchor, and voice of reason

Brandy is Naomi's closest friend and coworker, providing much-needed support, humor, and perspective throughout the story. Her warmth, honesty, and unwavering loyalty make her a safe haven for Naomi, especially as other friendships falter. Brandy's own dreams and struggles mirror Naomi's, and her encouragement helps Naomi rediscover her sense of self and the courage to fight for what she wants. Brandy is a reminder that chosen family can be just as important as blood.

Leon

Quiet observer, unexpected ally, and symbol of new beginnings

Leon is a coworker at the Junk Yard and later the buyer of the store, representing change and the possibility of reinvention. His understated kindness and willingness to listen make him a subtle but important presence in Naomi's life. Leon's decision to pursue his own dreams inspires Naomi to do the same, and his friendship with Nicholas helps bridge the gap between the couple's old and new lives. Leon is proof that support can come from unexpected places.

Melissa

Estranged friend, mirror of Naomi's guilt and growth

Melissa is a former friend and coworker whose falling out with Naomi is rooted in betrayal and misunderstanding. Her bitterness and resentment serve as a cautionary tale for Naomi, highlighting the consequences of dishonesty and the importance of communication. Melissa's eventual success and independence challenge Naomi to confront her own fears and take responsibility for her happiness.

Zach

Provocateur, comic relief, and truth-teller

Zach is a coworker whose bluntness and irreverence often create tension but also force Naomi and Nicholas to confront uncomfortable truths. His willingness to call out hypocrisy and challenge the status quo makes him both a source of conflict and a catalyst for growth. Zach's departure from the Junk Yard signals the end of an era and the need for Naomi to move forward.

Harold Rose

Passive patriarch, comic foil, and cautionary example

Harold is Nicholas's father, largely defined by his passivity and willingness to let Deborah run the show. His disengagement and lack of agency serve as a warning to Nicholas of what can happen when one abdicates responsibility for their own happiness. Harold's rare moments of rebellion provide comic relief and a glimpse of the man he might have been.

Mr. and Mrs. Howard

Kindly employers, symbols of fading tradition

The Howards own the Junk Yard and represent a vanishing way of life—small-town, family-run businesses struggling to survive in a changing world. Their generosity and care for their employees create a sense of community and belonging for Naomi, and their eventual retirement forces her to confront the need for change and growth.

Stacy Mootispaw

Workplace rival, object of jealousy, and catalyst for honesty

Stacy is Nicholas's coworker and the subject of Naomi's insecurities and suspicions. Her competence, beauty, and friendship with Nicholas force Naomi to confront her own fears of inadequacy and abandonment. Stacy's presence ultimately pushes Naomi and Nicholas to communicate more openly and trust each other.

Plot Devices

Dual Protagonist Perspective Through a Single Voice

Naomi's narration reveals both sides of the relationship

The novel is told entirely from Naomi's point of view, but her sharp observations and internal monologue allow readers to see both her and Nicholas's flaws, fears, and desires. This device creates dramatic irony, as the audience often understands the couple's miscommunications and missed opportunities before the characters do. The single-voice narrative heightens the emotional stakes and immerses readers in Naomi's journey of self-discovery.

The "War" Metaphor and Petty Sabotage

Relationship as battlefield, love as competition

The central plot device is the couple's ongoing "war"—a series of escalating pranks, passive-aggressive maneuvers, and emotional standoffs. This metaphor externalizes their internal struggles and makes the stakes of their relationship tangible. The war is both comic and tragic, highlighting the absurdity of their situation while also exposing the pain beneath the surface. The eventual ceasefire and shift to small kindnesses mark the turning point in their relationship.

Foreshadowing and Symbolism

Objects and events hint at deeper truths

The novel is rich with symbolic objects—wedding invitations, flowers, the house in the woods, the palm-leaf comforter, the straw wrapper bracelet—that foreshadow key emotional beats and character growth. The repeated motif of "percentages" of love, the drive-in memory, and the act of throwing away the invitations all serve as harbingers of change and transformation. The house itself is a living symbol of the couple's potential for renewal.

Social Media and Public vs. Private Selves

Curated happiness versus authentic connection

The couple's use of social media to project an image of happiness contrasts sharply with their private misery. This device underscores the theme of performance and the dangers of comparing one's real life to others' highlight reels. The eventual rejection of performative love in favor of genuine vulnerability is a key element of the story's resolution.

The "Love Percentage" and Emotional Math

Quantifying love to avoid vulnerability

Naomi's habit of assigning a percentage to her feelings for Nicholas is both a defense mechanism and a plot device. It allows her to distance herself from pain and disappointment, but also prevents her from fully engaging with her emotions. The abandonment of this metric in favor of honest, messy love marks her growth and the couple's reconciliation.

The "Second Chance" Structure

From enemies to lovers, again

The novel's structure mirrors a second-chance romance, with the couple rediscovering each other after nearly destroying their relationship. The use of flashbacks, callbacks to their first date, and the motif of "meeting again as strangers" reinforce the idea that love is a choice, not a given. The wedding at the end is not a fairy-tale reward, but the result of hard work, forgiveness, and mutual effort.

Analysis

"You Deserve Each Other" is a sharp, witty, and emotionally resonant exploration of what it means to choose love—again and again—when the fairy-tale sheen has worn off. Sarah Hogle's novel subverts the traditional romantic comedy by focusing not on falling in love, but on staying in love when resentment, pride, and outside pressures threaten to tear a couple apart. Through Naomi and Nicholas's journey from adversaries to allies, the book examines the dangers of performative happiness, the corrosive effects of unspoken grievances, and the transformative power of vulnerability and forgiveness. The story's humor and pettiness are balanced by moments of genuine tenderness and insight, making the characters' growth feel earned and relatable. Ultimately, the novel argues that real love is not effortless or perfect, but a daily choice to see, support, and fight for each other—even when it's hard. The lesson is clear: happiness is not found in grand gestures or social approval, but in the messy, imperfect, and deeply personal work of building a life together.

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Review Summary

3.87 out of 5
Average of 139.8K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

You Deserve Each Other is a hilarious and heartwarming romantic comedy that follows engaged couple Naomi and Nicholas as they attempt to sabotage their relationship. Initially despising each other, they engage in a battle of pranks and wit. However, as they rediscover why they fell in love, the story transforms into a touching journey of rekindling romance. While some readers found the characters initially unlikable, many praised the book's humor, character growth, and exploration of communication in relationships. The novel has become a beloved comfort read for many, with its unique take on the enemies-to-lovers trope.

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About the Author

Sarah Hogle is a mother of three who enjoys indulging in trashy TV and playfully provoking her husband. Her dream is to reside in a crumbling, possibly cursed castle nestled within a forest. Hogle has authored four novels: You Deserve Each Other, Twice Shy, Just Like Magic, and Old Flames and New Fortunes. Her writing style is characterized by witty humor and heartfelt romance, often exploring themes of self-discovery and second chances in love. Hogle's debut novel, You Deserve Each Other, gained significant popularity and established her as a promising voice in the romantic comedy genre.

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