100 Truths You Will Learn Too Late

1. Understand the Inflexible Rules of Life and Prioritize Growth

Rule #001: You can choose which games to play, but not their rules.

Acknowledge life's rules. Much frustration stems from ignoring or wishing away the inherent rules of life's "games"—be it love, business, or health. The universe punishes those who disregard its principles, using failures as lessons for rules we resist learning. True happiness and success come from understanding these implicit rules and aligning our actions with them, rather than fighting against them.

Prioritize what's important. The most common deathbed regret is chasing urgent tasks while neglecting what truly matters, like family, health, and learning. Because important activities lack immediate deadlines, they are often delayed indefinitely. To counteract this, schedule important activities as non-negotiable appointments, treating them with the same seriousness as client meetings. Your calendar reveals your true priorities.

Address root causes. Problems grow when ignored, demanding attention until they become too big to overlook. Instead of merely treating symptoms, identify and resolve the root causes of recurring issues. This proactive approach, though initially harder, prevents problems from resurfacing, saving time and mental peace in the long run. A simple "not-to-do list" can help you avoid busywork and focus on truly impactful actions.

2. Embrace Action and Momentum Over the Illusion of Perfection

Do not worry about perfection and effectiveness before having built motivation and momentum.

Action breaks vicious circles. Many find themselves stuck in vicious circles—needing experience for a job, but a job for experience. The key to breaking these self-reinforcing obstacles is simply to act. Any point of attack is good, as action transforms vicious circles into virtuous ones, where each small step builds momentum and reinforces subsequent positive actions.

Small steps build momentum. Often, we resist taking action because the perceived step is too large or emotionally daunting. There is always a step small enough that your brain is willing to take. Focus on finding that minimal, doable action, take it, and build momentum. Consistency in small steps, even seemingly insignificant ones, is far more effective than aiming for perfection and never starting.

Mistakes are steps forward. The absence of fear is a myth; successful people act despite it. Similarly, perfect efficiency is a mirage, as sustained performance requires recovery, learning, and fun. Do not seek absolute control, as life's path is rarely direct. Instead, view mistakes as valuable information, like in a game of Battleship, helping you refine your approach and move closer to victory.

3. Clearly Define Your Desires and Commit to Their True Costs

Success follows having paid all the right costs.

Acknowledge your true desires. Humans are incredibly effective at achieving what they set their minds to, yet often struggle with regret from not understanding what their future selves would value. Honesty with yourself, free from external judgment or ego, is paramount. List your desires with a 10-year horizon, incorporating insights from what an average 80-year-old might value, to ensure you're pursuing what truly matters.

Understand the costs. Every goal comes with specific costs, rarely just financial, but often in the form of actions: skills to acquire, practice sessions, relationships to cultivate, and things to give up. Success isn't about effort, but about paying the right costs. You choose the game, but not its rules or the price of winning. Listing these costs brings clarity, motivation, and the ability to consciously decide if the goal is worth the investment.

Pay the price with discipline. Once your desires and their costs are clear, the next step is disciplined execution. Break down costs into weekly or daily actions, scheduling them as non-negotiable "working sessions." Regularly review your progress and adjust your schedule or environment as needed. This consistent, focused effort, rather than sporadic bursts, is the engine of lasting achievement.

4. Master the Art of Learning Through Deliberate Practice and Feedback

Metapractice – the ability to tweak one’s practice to maximize its effectiveness – is the most underrated skill of them all.

Practice your practice. Mastery isn't just about practicing more, but about practicing smarter. Metapractice involves constantly adjusting your learning approach to maximize effectiveness. After each session, reflect on how your practice could be improved—whether by focusing on specific aspects, seeking a mentor, or taking better notes. Improving your practice directly improves your skills.

Learn by doing, maximize feedback. Reading provides knowledge, but practice internalizes it. Avoid consuming theoretical content back-to-back; instead, apply learnings immediately to produce tangible outputs. To accelerate learning, maximize feedback loops by dividing work into the smallest possible bits and sharing them frequently. This allows for earlier error correction and faster skill development.

Deliberate practice and specific feedback. True learning happens when you venture into the unknown, proactively formulating and testing hypotheses. This "deliberate practice" is about trying something new with intention, not just repeating what you already know. When receiving negative feedback, attribute it to specific mental patterns or behaviors, not your entire self. This allows you to learn and adapt without ego-driven defensiveness, fostering antifragility.

5. Cultivate Radical Independence and Trust Incentives Over Words

If someone cannot carry their own weight, they will rely on others, even if these others are toxic.

Need is toxic. Addictions, broadly defined as anything you compulsively do despite it making your life worse, often stem from a lack of options. This includes toxic relationships or draining jobs. The solution is to cultivate independence by developing alternatives. When you have better options, you're no longer coerced into unhealthy patterns, freeing up time and energy for personal growth.

Independence wins negotiations. The most powerful position in any negotiation is the willingness to walk away. This ability comes from having viable alternatives. By building options for yourself—whether in career, relationships, or personal projects—you gain leverage and ensure that agreements are on your terms, not dictated by desperation.

Trust incentives, not just people. Every time you've been "screwed over," it was likely because you trusted a person's words or past behavior more than their underlying incentives. People's actions are profoundly shaped by their incentives, which can change over time. Assume that if someone's incentives are misaligned with yours, they might act against your interests. Protect yourself by understanding these dynamics and aligning risks where possible.

6. Lead Effectively by Action, Integrity, and Delegating Results

Integrity is a higher value than loyalty. Or better put, integrity is the highest form of loyalty.

Lead by action, not words. Motivational speeches are ineffective without a history of personal undertaking. People rally around visible action, not just rhetoric. If you want to drive change, demonstrate your belief in the effort required by taking costly actions yourself. Your actions serve as a powerful, costly signal that you genuinely believe in the value of what you're asking others to do.

Communicate values through inconvenience. Values are best taught and communicated not when it's easy to uphold them, but when it's hard. By embracing the short-term inconveniences of your principles, you signal that you view them as long-term investments. This demonstrates genuine commitment and encourages others to make similar investments, fostering a culture of shared values.

Delegate results, not methods. When delegating, focus on clearly defining the desired outcome and what success looks like, rather than prescribing the exact steps. This empowers individuals, fosters accountability for results, and often leads to surprising and innovative solutions. Providing feedback should also follow a "20% rule": only offer suggestions that bring significant improvement, allowing others the satisfaction of solving problems themselves.

7. Adopt a Long-Term Perspective and Ruthlessly Avoid Shortcuts

Solving the root cause of problems should always be more urgent than solving any problem it produces.

Avoid the illusion of shortcuts. Shortcuts, or "quick fixes," address symptoms without tackling root causes. They offer borrowed strength, creating a debt that must be repaid, and reduce the urgency to take resolutive action while the underlying problem grows. Refusing shortcuts forces you to confront and solve root problems, leading to lasting solutions and a "great life made of tackled problems."

Sustainability defines reality. If an action or change isn't sustainable, it didn't truly happen. Deluding yourself that a temporary effort (like a two-day diet) is a permanent solution prevents genuine progress. True change is demonstrated by the capacity to sustain actions over time. Focus on building habits that can endure, training "until you cannot fail," rather than just until you succeed once.

Invest your ego in your future self. Where your ego is invested determines who benefits from your actions. Investing ego in things, people, or your present self leads to short-term decisions and potential addiction. Instead, invest your ego in your future self—its skills, capacities, and long-term growth. This shift fosters long-term decision-making, resilience to present outcomes, and a path out of addictions.

8. Recondition Your Habits by Engineering Your Environment and Incentives

Willpower is useless, unless used for tweaking the environment.

Create space between stimulus and response. While external events may be beyond our control, our internal reaction is not. Even when impulses feel overwhelming, recognizing that your response is one of many possibilities creates a choice. If internal change is difficult, focus willpower on altering your environment or incentives to support a different, more positive reaction.

Recondition emotional responses. Emotions are past conditionings. To change undesirable emotional reactions, intentionally recondition yourself. This can involve controlled exposure to triggers in positive settings, gradually overriding negative associations. Alternatively, build skills and confidence in a safe environment before re-engaging with situations that previously evoked fear or discomfort.

Change incentives to change habits. Behavior changes when incentives change. If you want to introduce a good habit or eliminate a bad one, manipulate your incentives. Remove positive incentives for bad habits, or add negative "punishments." Conversely, attach positive incentives to desired habits. This leverages the powerful influence of incentives on behavior, often more effectively than sheer willpower.

9. Maximize Effectiveness by Ruthlessly Prioritizing and Eliminating Bottlenecks

Working hard without checking assumptions is a form of laziness.

Question hard work. Not all hard work yields results. Working hard without first checking assumptions—asking if the effort will truly advance your objectives or if you're just comfortable with the task—is a form of emotional laziness. Effective individuals constantly test assumptions and seek the most impactful work, rather than just the hardest or most familiar.

Pareto prioritize. The 80/20 rule suggests that 20% of efforts produce 80% of results. Apply this principle to all areas of your life: identify the vital few activities, relationships, or learnings that generate the most impact, and focus your energy there. Conversely, reduce or eliminate the trivial many that yield minimal returns.

Practice via negativa. Often, solving problems isn't about adding something new, but about removing something unnatural or unnecessary. This "via negativa" approach, popularized by Nassim Taleb, suggests that eliminating detrimental elements (like unhealthy habits or unnecessary complexities) often brings more profound and sustainable improvements than adding more.

10. Live a Life of Self-Respect, Resist Erosion, and Own Your Choices

Life is about becoming someone we respect.

Happiness is self-respect. Long-lasting, pervasive happiness is deeply tied to living a life you respect. While temporary "happiness loans" from addictive activities exist, true contentment comes from consistently making choices that build self-respect. When faced with a decision, choose the option that aligns with the person you aspire to be, fostering a virtuous cycle of happiness and personal growth.

Resist erosion of self. Life is a constant battle against erosion—physical, environmental, and social. Just as our bodies fight decay, our personalities, unique preferences, skills, and dreams are constantly shaped and potentially eroded by our surroundings. To feel truly alive, identify the core parts of yourself you refuse to compromise and actively build them back, shaping your environment rather than being passively shaped by it.

Own your life and choices. Ultimately, you are responsible for your life and its outcomes, even when you defer to others or make no decision at all. Do not optimize your life for external validation, comfort, status, or even your current self. Instead, optimize for long-term self-respect. Life is too long and unique to be lived for the short term or according to others' expectations.

Last updated: January 1, 2026