Plot Summary
Fairy Tales and Fallout
Anna, a journalist and mother of two, is freshly separated and reading a classic fairy tale to her son's class when the finality of her divorce hits her—via a cold, impersonal government email. The "happily ever after" narrative feels like a cruel joke, and Anna's emotional outburst in the classroom signals the start of her journey: from the ruins of her marriage, she must reconstruct her sense of self. Her sister Lottie tries to comfort her, but Anna is convinced her story is over. The fairy tale's ending, once a promise, now feels like a lie. Anna's world is upended, and she's left questioning love, identity, and what comes next.
Divorce by Email
Anna's divorce is finalized not with ceremony, but with a government email. The abruptness is jarring, and Anna is left reeling, feeling like a failure as her ex-husband Dan posts photos from Machu Picchu, already embracing his new life. Anna's grief is raw, her sense of self shaken. She's forced to confront the reality of single motherhood, the logistics of a new identity, and the pain of seeing Dan move on so easily. Her sister Lottie tries to reassure her that things will change, but Anna is unconvinced, feeling stuck in a narrative that no longer fits.
Hibernation Era
A year later, Anna is entrenched in her "hibernation era"—focusing on work, her children, and the comfort of routine. Lottie, now pregnant and thriving, pushes Anna to date, but Anna is content to avoid the chaos of romance. She's surrounded by reminders of her old life, her home cluttered with memories and the detritus of family. The world expects her to rise from the ashes, but Anna is not interested in reinvention. She's a "dazed pigeon," not a phoenix, and she's fine with that. Yet, beneath her resistance, there's a longing for something more.
The Dating Gauntlet
Pressured by her boss to write a dating column, Anna reluctantly enlists her young colleagues to help her navigate dating apps. The process is humiliating and alienating—her profile feels like a lie, and the men she meets are disappointing at best, disturbing at worst. The contrast between her online persona and her real self is stark. Each date is a reminder of how much the rules have changed since she last dated, and Anna's confidence is battered. The experience leaves her feeling more alone, convinced that "everyone normal is taken."
Children Choose Dates
Facing the threat of redundancy, Anna pitches a new angle: her children will pick her dates, and she'll chronicle the results. Ethan and Jess, her son and daughter, are delighted by the power, suggesting everyone from classmates' divorced dads to the local postman. The experiment is both comic and poignant—Anna is forced out of her comfort zone, and the children's choices reflect their own hopes and anxieties. The process becomes a family affair, blurring the lines between work, parenting, and personal growth.
Enemies at Work
At work, Anna's main antagonist is Will Havers—a younger, infuriatingly confident journalist who seems to have it all. Their banter is sharp, their competition fierce. Will is everything Anna claims to dislike: ambitious, privileged, and a serial dater. Yet, beneath the surface, there's a crackling chemistry neither can ignore. When the magazine is threatened by new ownership, Will and Anna are forced to collaborate on a dual dating column, pitting Anna's "real life" dates against Will's online escapades. The rivalry becomes a dance, each pushing the other to new extremes.
The Column Ultimatum
The new investor, Crispin, wants drama, vulnerability, and a younger audience. Anna's "According to Anna" column is on the chopping block unless she can deliver a fresh, personal take on dating. Will, ever the opportunist, pitches his own column, and Anna is forced to fight for her place. The pressure mounts as Anna juggles work, motherhood, and the humiliations of dating. The threat of redundancy looms, and Anna's sense of self-worth is tested. The column becomes a lifeline, a way to prove she still matters.
App Disasters
Anna's foray into online dating is a parade of disasters: men who use AI to message, awkward encounters, and a growing sense of alienation. The process is transactional, devoid of magic. Anna's longing for real connection intensifies, and she begins to question whether love is even possible in the digital age. The contrast between her messy, lived-in life and the curated perfection of dating profiles is stark. The experience leaves her more cynical, but also more determined to find something real.
Real Life, Real Men
Anna's children set her up with Neil, a divorced dad, and the date is a comedy of errors—culminating in a fishing accident and a near-miss with a group of cyclists. The encounter is both farcical and revealing, exposing Anna's own prejudices and the complexities of post-divorce dating. The experiment with "real life" dating is no less fraught than the online version, but it forces Anna to confront her fears and desires. The process becomes a journey of self-discovery, as Anna learns to let go of old narratives.
The Fishing Fiasco
The fishing date with Neil is a microcosm of Anna's struggles: awkwardness, miscommunication, and the ever-present specter of her ex-husband. The incident with the fishhook and the cyclists is both comic and traumatic, leaving Anna shaken but also strangely empowered. The experience prompts her to reclaim her space—literally, by redecorating her home and creating a reading nook. The act of transformation is symbolic, marking a shift in Anna's sense of agency and possibility.
The Age Gap Game
As Anna's dating adventures continue, her interactions with Will become more charged. Their banter is laced with innuendo, and the age gap between them becomes a recurring theme. Will's own vulnerabilities begin to surface, and Anna is forced to confront her assumptions about him. The rivalry gives way to a tentative friendship, and the possibility of something more. The boundaries between work and personal life blur, and Anna's feelings become harder to deny.
Rivalry and Revelation
A work trip to a literary festival brings Anna and Will closer. Over dinner and drinks, they share their histories, fears, and dreams. Will reveals the burdens of family responsibility and lost love; Anna opens up about her failed marriage and the pain of starting over. The intimacy is electric, and a moonlit flirtation across hotel windows pushes their relationship to a new level. Yet, both are haunted by the impossibility of a future together—Will's ambitions pull him away, and Anna's life is rooted in Bath.
Moonlit Confessions
The tension between Anna and Will erupts in a series of charged encounters—first at the festival, then back at work. Their connection is undeniable, but both are afraid to risk their hearts. Anna's insecurities about age, motherhood, and worthiness resurface, while Will's fear of rejection and history of heartbreak hold him back. A weekend retreat, meant to be a professional assignment, becomes the crucible for their feelings. In the woods, stripped of distractions, they finally give in to desire and honesty.
The Retreat
At the Reconnect Retreat, Anna and Will are forced to confront their feelings. Without phones or the outside world, they talk, laugh, and make love—discovering a depth of connection neither expected. The experience is transformative, but reality intrudes: Will's dream job in Paris beckons, and Anna's responsibilities as a mother anchor her in Bath. The retreat is both a beginning and an ending, a space where love is possible but not sustainable. The return to reality is painful, and both are left questioning what they truly want.
Archive Affairs
Back at work, Anna and Will embark on a clandestine affair, meeting in the office archive for stolen moments. The secrecy is thrilling, but the lack of clarity about their future breeds anxiety. Will's impending move to Paris looms over them, and Anna's fear of vulnerability resurfaces. The affair is both an escape and a trap, offering pleasure but no resolution. The tension between desire and self-protection becomes unbearable, and Anna is forced to make a choice.
Family, Friendship, Forgiveness
As Anna's relationship with Will reaches a crossroads, her connections with family and friends deepen. She reconciles with her ex-husband Dan, navigates the challenges of co-parenting, and supports her daughter Jess through bullying and adolescence. Her friendship with Loretta, a vibrant cancer survivor, becomes a source of wisdom and joy. Anna learns to ask for help, to accept imperfection, and to find meaning in community. The process of healing is messy but redemptive.
The Ball and the Bench
The story culminates at a Regency ball, where Anna, dressed in period finery, is surprised by Will's dramatic return from Paris. In front of friends and family, they confess their love and commit to making it work—despite distance, age, and uncertainty. The ball is both a fairy tale ending and a realistic beginning, acknowledging the challenges ahead while celebrating the courage to choose love. Anna's journey comes full circle, from fairy tale disillusionment to a hard-won, authentic happiness.
Love, Actually
Nine months later, Anna and Will are navigating a long-distance relationship, balancing work, family, and the demands of modern life. Their love is imperfect but real, grounded in mutual respect and shared vulnerability. Anna's children are thriving, her friendships are deepening, and her sense of self is stronger than ever. The story ends not with a fairy tale, but with a celebration of resilience, growth, and the messy, beautiful reality of love after loss.
Characters
Anna Appleby
Anna is a thirty-eight-year-old journalist, mother of two, and recent divorcée. Her journey is one of rebuilding: from the ashes of a failed marriage, she must rediscover her worth, identity, and capacity for joy. Anna is witty, self-aware, and deeply empathetic, but also plagued by insecurity and fear of vulnerability. Her relationships—with her children, her sister Lottie, her ex-husband Dan, and eventually Will—are the crucible in which she is transformed. Anna's arc is about learning to let go of old narratives, embrace imperfection, and choose love—not as a fairy tale, but as a daily act of courage.
Will Havers
Will is Anna's younger colleague and eventual love interest. On the surface, he is confident, successful, and a bit of a playboy—always impeccably dressed, quick with a quip, and seemingly unflappable. Beneath the bravado, Will carries the weight of family responsibility, past heartbreak, and a longing for connection. His rivalry with Anna masks a deep admiration and attraction, and their banter is both a shield and an invitation. Will's journey is about learning to risk his heart, to choose love over ambition, and to accept that happiness may not look like he expected.
Lottie
Lottie is Anna's younger sister, a creative entrepreneur and new mother. She is the emotional anchor of the story, pushing Anna to take risks, embrace new experiences, and believe in the possibility of happiness after heartbreak. Lottie's own journey—from emotional dependence to self-assuredness—mirrors Anna's, and their relationship is a testament to the power of sisterhood. Lottie's optimism and warmth are a counterpoint to Anna's cynicism, and her faith in love is both inspiring and infuriating.
Dan
Dan is Anna's former partner, now reinvented as a fitness-obsessed, Instagram-friendly "new man." His rapid move-on and new relationship with Sylvie are a source of pain and envy for Anna, but also a catalyst for her own growth. Dan is flawed but not villainous—his struggles with depression, identity, and fatherhood are rendered with empathy. His evolving relationship with Anna, from resentment to genuine friendship, is a model of post-divorce healing.
Jess
Jess is Anna's twelve-year-old daughter, caught between childhood and adolescence. Her struggles with bullying, self-image, and friendship mirror Anna's own journey of self-acceptance. Jess's relationship with Anna is complex—full of love, frustration, and mutual misunderstanding. Her arc is about finding her voice, embracing her creativity, and learning to trust her mother.
Ethan
Ethan is Anna's seven-year-old son, whose unfiltered observations and boundless enthusiasm provide both humor and insight. His role as matchmaker is both literal and symbolic—he represents the hope and possibility of new beginnings. Ethan's resilience in the face of family upheaval is a testament to the power of love and stability.
Loretta
Loretta is a cancer survivor and Anna's unlikely friend and mentor. She embodies the spirit of living fully, embracing joy, and refusing to be defined by loss or illness. Loretta's "rock era" philosophy inspires Anna to take risks, be honest, and choose happiness. Her presence is a reminder that life is short, and that love—of all kinds—is worth pursuing.
Noah
Noah is Anna's widowed neighbor, initially a source of irritation and comic conflict. Beneath his prickly exterior lies a well of grief, loyalty, and kindness. His journey from antagonist to friend (and almost-date) is a lesson in not judging by appearances, and his willingness to help Anna in moments of crisis is quietly heroic.
Michael
Michael is the local postman and Jane Austen enthusiast, one of Anna's more memorable dates. His passion for literature and historical reenactment is both endearing and absurd, and his friendship with Anna is a reminder that connection can take many forms. Michael's eventual romance with Jane, another Austenite, is a subplot of hope and serendipity.
Sylvie
Sylvie is the embodiment of the "new woman"—young, beautiful, and seemingly perfect. Her presence is a source of insecurity and resentment for Anna, but also a catalyst for growth. Sylvie's own journey—from outsider to stepmother, from rival to ally—is handled with nuance, and her relationship with Anna evolves from competition to mutual respect.
Plot Devices
Dual Narrative Columns
The story's central device is the dual dating columns—Anna's "real life" dates chosen by her children, and Will's online adventures. This structure allows for a playful exploration of contemporary romance, contrasting the chaos of offline encounters with the curated world of apps. The columns serve as both plot engine and meta-commentary, blurring the lines between fiction and reality, work and life. The rivalry between Anna and Will is heightened by the public nature of their writing, and the columns become a space for confession, competition, and eventual vulnerability.
Enemies-to-Lovers
The classic enemies-to-lovers trope is given fresh life in Anna and Will's dynamic. Their banter is both shield and seduction, and their competition forces each to confront their own flaws and desires. The gradual shift from antagonism to intimacy is marked by moments of vulnerability, shared secrets, and mutual respect. The trope is subverted by the realities of age, ambition, and family, making their eventual union both hard-won and deeply satisfying.
Foreshadowing and Symbolism
The story is rich with foreshadowing and symbolic motifs: the opening fairy tale, the ampersand tattoo, the recurring theme of "happily ever after." These elements serve as both critique and homage to romantic conventions, inviting readers to question what constitutes a real love story. The ampersand, in particular, becomes a symbol of new chapters, resilience, and the possibility of "and"—of more, of next, of hope.
Family and Community as Mirrors
Anna's journey is shaped by her relationships—with her children, her sister, her ex-husband, her friends. Each character serves as a mirror, reflecting Anna's fears, hopes, and blind spots. The interplay between family, friendship, and romance is central, and the story resists the notion that love is the only or ultimate source of fulfillment.
Modern Realism and Meta-Romance
The narrative is laced with self-referential humor, Google searches, and meta-commentary on the rom-com genre. The story acknowledges the messiness of modern life—divorce, parenting, work, technology—while still delivering the emotional highs of classic romance. The ending is both a nod to fairy tales and a rejection of their simplicity, offering a nuanced, realistic vision of love after loss.
Analysis
Sophie Cousens's Is She Really Going Out with Him? is a witty, emotionally resonant exploration of love, loss, and self-discovery in the digital age. Through Anna's journey from divorce to new love, the novel interrogates the myths of "happily ever after" and the pressures placed on women to reinvent themselves post-breakup. The dual-column structure cleverly contrasts the chaos of real-life dating with the curated world of apps, highlighting the absurdities and possibilities of modern romance. The enemies-to-lovers arc between Anna and Will is both trope-savvy and deeply human, grounded in vulnerability, mutual respect, and the courage to risk again. The story's true heart lies in its celebration of resilience, community, and the messy, beautiful reality of starting over. Cousens suggests that love is not a fairy tale ending, but an ongoing choice—a willingness to be seen, to grow, and to embrace the "and" of life's next chapter. The novel's humor, warmth, and honesty make it a standout in contemporary romantic fiction, offering both escapism and insight for readers navigating their own stories.
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Review Summary
Is She Really Going Out with Him? by Sophie Cousens is a delightful romantic comedy featuring Anna Appleby, a divorced mother of two who must reinvent her magazine column to save her job. She agrees to go on seven dates chosen by her children while competing with workplace rival Will Havers, who writes about online dating. Readers praise Cousens' witty banter, realistic characters who act their age, and relatable themes of rediscovering oneself after divorce. The enemies-to-lovers romance delivers humor, heart, and authentic chemistry, though some found it predictable.
