Take Care of Your Type

1. The Enneagram: A Holistic Map for Inner Self-Care

self-care is not just about looking good; it’s about feeling whole.

Beyond superficiality. The Enneagram is a centuries-old, sacred system designed for deep self-reflection and healing, far beyond quick online assessments. It helps individuals understand their core desires, fears, and motivations, which are the true drivers of personality and behavior. This book redefines self-care as a holistic practice that extends beyond physical well-being to encompass the soul, heart, and mind.

Inner transformation. True self-care addresses the inner struggles that haunt us, aiming for wholeness rather than just external appearance. While physical self-care practices like relaxing baths or healthy eating are valuable, they are insufficient on their own to bring lasting happiness or peace of mind. The journey outlined here focuses on cultivating deep inner reflection for self-growth, setting a path toward healing and better self-treatment.

A guide, not a cure. This book serves as a guide for understanding emotional patterns and behavioral tendencies through the Enneagram lens. It offers practical tools for self-growth and compassion, but it is not a substitute for professional mental health support. The ultimate goal is to tend to your whole, beautiful, deserving self by integrating care for your physical body with the essential practice of nurturing your soul, heart, and mind.

2. Type 1: The Idealist – Embrace Imperfection and Release Control

The improvement you’re seeking can often be found in the midst of the struggle, so learn to sit with it.

Perfection's heavy toll. Idealists are driven by a core desire to be "good," balanced, and honorable, often setting impossibly high standards for themselves and others. This relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to an intense inner critic, bottled-up anger, and a fear of making mistakes, ultimately resulting in regulated, lonely, and unhealthy lives. They constantly notice what needs fixing and struggle to rest until it's done.

Finding grace in struggle. Self-care for Type 1s involves a radical shift: accepting that struggle and imperfection are inherent to humanity and growth. Instead of being crushed by perceived failures, they learn to find self-compassion in these moments, recognizing that improvement often emerges from sitting with discomfort. This acceptance allows them to become more wonder-filled individuals, embracing their flaws and the messiness of life.

Liberation through letting go. Practical self-care includes intentionally taking alone time to recuperate from immense pressure, indulging in nostalgia to appreciate past efforts, and jumping into impractical hobbies that offer pure joy without a need for excellence. Crucially, they must learn to let go of control, respecting others' opinions and accepting that not everything needs to be perfect. This frees them to celebrate life without guilt and prioritize genuine community.

3. Type 2: The Helper – Reclaim Your Needs and Self-Worth

You’re allowed to give, and you’re allowed to take.

Selfless to a fault. Helpers are deeply generous, sincere, and friendly, driven by a core desire to be loved, wanted, and irreplaceable. They instinctively sense others' needs and prioritize relationships, often sacrificing their own well-being in the process. This can lead to people-pleasing, losing their identity in others, and secret frustration when their efforts aren't reciprocated.

Honoring your own needs. Self-care for Type 2s means learning to set boundaries and communicate their own needs, rather than expecting others to intuitively know them. They must question if others' emotions are truly their own and recognize that their value isn't solely derived from being wanted or needed. This shift allows them to be present for loved ones with greater emotional stability and authenticity.

Embracing reciprocity. Practical self-care involves saying "no" to overcommitment, awakening their inner artist for self-expression, and allowing themselves to be supported by others. This includes letting friends reach out first, taking themselves on dates, and giving anonymously to cultivate genuine selflessness. By receiving love and support, Type 2s discover their worth extends beyond what they give, fostering a life of creativity and self-love.

4. Type 3: The Achiever – Prioritize Authenticity Over External Validation

The second you stop living for others’ admiration and approval is the second you’ll truly start to live, so let yourself be free, friend.

The performance trap. Achievers are versatile, motivated, and charming, driven by a core desire to feel important, invaluable, and successful, and a deep fear of being worthless or humiliated. They easily adapt to what they believe others want, often detaching their identity from their true self and emotions in pursuit of external affirmation. This leads to overworking, burnout, and a superficial existence.

Unmasking the true self. Self-care for Type 3s is about dismantling the need for constant admiration and approval, recognizing that their worth is inherent, not earned through achievements. It involves embracing vulnerability, allowing themselves to "cry it out" when overwhelmed, and devoting themselves to genuine authenticity rather than a performed emotional response. They learn that being "average" in some areas doesn't diminish their value.

Rhythms of genuine living. Practical self-care includes creating rhythms of rest to combat autopilot mode, intentionally failing at new things to overcome the fear of imperfection, and doing "for-fun-only" activities without seeking monetization or external praise. Enforcing a "digital sunset" and leaving work at home helps them reconnect with their true desires and live unfiltered, allowing themselves to be loved for who they truly are.

5. Type 4: The Individualist – Ground Your Unique Self in Reality

Comparison Is What’s Killing You.

The longing for uniqueness. Individualists are creative, self-aware, and emotionally honest, driven by a core desire to be authentically themselves and discover their significance, fearing being ordinary or without a distinct identity. They often get lost in their vivid inner world, idealizing what could be and feeling a sense of essential lacking, which can lead to withdrawal and self-absorption.

Embracing the mundane. Self-care for Type 4s involves grounding themselves in the practical realities of life, even the "trivial" tasks they often avoid. Simple actions like making their bed, doing dishes, or cleaning their space provide a sense of accomplishment and mental clarity, countering their tendency to retreat into internal reflection. This helps them see beauty in the present, rather than constantly longing for what's missing.

Beyond the "different." They need to challenge the belief that their worth is solely tied to their uniqueness or emotional depth. Practices like unplugging from technology to combat comparison, "just doing it" to overcome creative paralysis, and serving others help them realize their value extends beyond their perceived originality. They learn that they are "not just unique" but also kind, hardworking, and loved simply for being themselves, fostering stability and ambition.

6. Type 5: The Observer – Move from Knowledge to Action and Connection

My needs are not a problem.

The quest for competence. Observers are alert, insightful, and curious, driven by a core desire to be self-reliant, competent, and useful, and a deep fear of being inept or depleted. They have an insatiable hunger for knowledge, often getting lost in endless research and planning without taking action, leading to isolation and self-neglect. They hoard resources—time, energy, and love—out of fear of depletion.

From study to growth. Self-care for Type 5s means shifting from merely accumulating knowledge to actively applying it for personal growth. It involves starting projects they've over-researched, setting clear limits on their alone time, and making themselves available to share their unique insights with the world. They learn that they are fully equipped and capable, even when feeling tired or vulnerable.

Embracing connection. Practical self-care includes connecting with their physical body through activities like dancing ("get jiggy with it") or enjoying nature solo, which helps them break free from constant mental activity. They must "actually treat themselves" to counter their minimalism and believe that their needs are not a burden. By saying "yes" to new opportunities and allowing themselves to be challenged, they discover their inner "lion" and the profound impact their presence can have.

7. Type 6: The Loyalist – Cultivate Inner Trust and Courage

It’s okay to trust myself.

Seeking external security. Loyalists are reliable, determined, and trustworthy, driven by a core desire for support, guidance, and belonging, and a deep fear of being unprepared or unstable. They constantly anticipate worst-case scenarios, seeking reassurance from an "inner committee" of trusted opinions, which can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and staying in unhealthy situations. They are fiercely loyal but struggle to trust their own gut.

Building self-reliance. Self-care for Type 6s involves actively cultivating inner trust and recognizing their inherent strength and capability. It means challenging their tendency to overthink potential negative outcomes and instead practicing productive thinking that acknowledges fears but moves towards solutions. They learn to assume the best about themselves and situations, rather than always bracing for the worst.

Embracing peace and newness. Practical self-care includes physical activities like boxing to fight doubt, reading "boring" material to calm an overactive mind, and creating vision boards to foster hope. They must learn to be okay with "new" experiences and traditions, trusting their own judgment rather than relying solely on external validation. The S.T.O.P. method (Slow down, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed) helps them navigate inner turmoil, allowing them to pursue peace and enjoy life to the fullest, proud of their cautious yet courageous nature.

8. Type 8: The Challenger – Balance Strength with Vulnerability and Limits

I will not be betrayed.

Strength as a shield. Challengers are strong-willed, confident, and protective, driven by a core desire to take charge and defend themselves and others, and a deep fear of being at the mercy of someone else or being hurt. They often push themselves beyond limits, masking inner tenderness with a tough exterior, and their first emotional reaction is typically anger. This can lead to exhaustion, inflexibility, and a struggle with vulnerability.

Embracing the tender heart. Self-care for Type 8s involves acknowledging their human limits and allowing themselves to be vulnerable, recognizing they are "more than their passion." This includes seeking counseling to process past traumas and exploring the true emotions beneath their initial anger. They learn that true strength encompasses tenderness and that their value is not solely dependent on their tenacity.

Intentional surrender. Practical self-care includes setting boundaries to avoid overcommitment, intentionally being unproductive to allow for rest, and practicing prayer or meditation to reconcile their fear of surrendering control. They must learn to "go on a cry run" to process emotions, choose empathy even for those in opposition, and allow others to tell them what to do sometimes. By embracing mutual vulnerability and flexibility, Challengers become poised, generous leaders who inspire trust and candor.

9. Type 9: The Peacemaker – Awaken Your Voice and Assert Your Presence

My presence matters.

Harmony at all costs. Peacemakers are reassuring, accepting, and diplomatic, driven by a core desire to be unaffected, at peace, and connected, and a deep fear of being cut off from love or separated. They often blend into the background, suppressing their own opinions and preferences to avoid conflict, which can lead to self-numbing, inertia, and feeling disconnected from their true desires. They are often unaware of their own strong opinions.

Reclaiming their inner self. Self-care for Type 9s is about actively connecting with their inner world and asserting their unique voice and preferences. It means recognizing that their presence and opinions are valuable and necessary, even if it risks minor disagreements. They must challenge their tendency to "go along to get along" and instead believe in their own inherent worth and impact.

Momentum for authenticity. Practical self-care includes doing "brain dumps" to process their many thoughts and feelings, having "do not disturb" time to honor their need for uninterrupted space, and savoring moments of coziness with full presence rather than using them to numb. They must commit to developing new habits and routines, voice their preferences in group decisions, and realize that once they get going, they are "unstoppable" in pursuing their own agenda and making a difference.

Last updated: November 25, 2025