The Science of Influence

1. Influence is the Art of Inspiring Improvement

a person will only move, change, take an action of any kind, or be influenced if they feel that they are going to be better off afterwards.

Moving others forward. Influence is fundamentally about moving a person from one state of thinking or set of conclusions to another, always with the underlying motivation of improvement. Whether in business, personal relationships, or self-motivation, people act only when they perceive a clear benefit or a better future state. The more convinced they are of substantial improvement, the more open they become to influence.

Anticipated consequences. This core principle, known as the ABC theory of motivation, posits that while 15% of actions are driven by past events (antecedents), a significant 85% of motivation stems from the anticipated consequences. Consider the frenzy around an Apple iPhone release or money scattered in the street; people engage in seemingly irrational behaviors because they intensely desire the perceived improvement or gain. This intense desire for betterment drives all human action.

Unlocking potential. Brian Tracy's extensive research reveals that everyone possesses far more potential than they realize. The secret to influence, therefore, lies in showing people how your ideas, products, or guidance can unlock this potential, leading to faster, easier, and more predictable improvements in their lives. By focusing on the profound positive consequences, you can inspire actions that lead to remarkable results, transforming lives and achieving greatness.

2. Cultivate Ascribed Power Through Trust and Character

The more people trust you and like you, the more doors they will open for you.

Beyond position. Influence isn't solely about formal authority or "position power," which is temporary and tied to a role. Far more lasting and impactful is "ascribed power," earned through being recognized as highly competent and trustworthy. This power is carried with you, regardless of your title, and is built on a foundation of character, clarity, and conviction. People are influenced by those they respect and believe in, not just those who hold a certain office.

Reputation is currency. Your reputation is your most valuable asset, both personally and professionally. Theodore Levitt of Harvard Business School emphasized that a company's integrity and reputation are its most valuable financial assets, enduring even as products and executives come and go. Similarly, your personal reputation—what people say about you behind your back—determines whether they will buy from you, hire you, promote you, or even listen to you.

Everything counts. Every interaction, every word, and every action either builds or erodes your credibility and believability. To cultivate ascribed power, consistently demonstrate:

• Integrity: Always tell the truth and live in truth with yourself and others.
• Reliability: Follow through on commitments and be dependable.
• Competence: Be excellent at what you do, becoming a recognized expert.
• Respect: Treat others with high regard, valuing their opinions and contributions.
  By consistently embodying these qualities, you build a reservoir of trust that opens doors and amplifies your influence.

3. Master Communication and Continuous Learning

The power is on the side of the person with the best information.

Speak to inspire. Great communicators are highly influential, whether in one-on-one conversations or group presentations. Developing strong speaking skills, perhaps by joining organizations like Toastmasters, builds confidence and fluency, opening doors to new opportunities and connections. The ability to articulate ideas clearly and persuasively makes people perceive you as more intelligent and capable, fostering greater respect and willingness to be influenced.

Sincerity with grace. While sincerity is crucial, it must be delivered with grace and understanding, not tactlessness. As Benjamin Franklin learned, it's often "better to be liked than to be right." Instead of aggressively arguing, influential communicators ask open-ended questions like, "That's an interesting point of view. Why do you feel that way?" This approach invites dialogue, builds rapport, and allows for mutual understanding, transforming adversaries into friends. Never challenge a person directly, even if they are wrong, as it shuts down their receptiveness.

Information is power. In an age where information doubles rapidly, continuous learning is non-negotiable for sustained influence. Consuming educational content—reading books, magazines, listening to audio programs—for at least an hour a day keeps you current and provides "deep learning." Warren Buffett, for instance, spends 80% of his time reading. Being thoroughly well-informed not only makes you more confident but also positions you as an authority, ensuring that "the power is on the side of the person with the best information" in any discussion or negotiation.

4. Prioritize People Over Digital Distractions

Every time you allow yourself to be interrupted electronically, it takes you eighteen minutes to get back to work.

The digital dilemma. While technology aims to make communication faster and easier, the digital age presents significant challenges to genuine influence. Constant electronic interruptions—emails, texts, social media notifications—fragment attention and severely diminish productivity. Each "ding" provides a dopamine jolt, akin to a slot machine, creating an addiction that pulls focus away from meaningful work and human connection.

Reclaiming focus. To be truly influential, you must resist the allure of constant digital engagement. Adopt strategies to minimize distractions:

• Limit email checks: Check emails only two or three times a day, not continuously.
• Turn off notifications: Keep devices on silent or out of sight during focused work or meetings.
• Prioritize deep work: Dedicate uninterrupted blocks of time to high-value tasks.
  Remember, all success in work life comes from completing tasks, and electronic interruptions sabotage this process, potentially increasing task completion time by 500%.

Human connection reigns. Despite the rise of digital tools, genuine human interaction remains paramount for building deep influence. For high-consequence decisions, "slow thinking" and face-to-face meetings are essential to ensure clarity, build trust, and understand nuances that digital communication often misses. While digital platforms can aid in rapid testing and data collection, they cannot replace the warmth, trust, and nuanced understanding fostered through direct personal contact. Influential people understand that connecting with people, not gadgets, is the ultimate source of lasting impact.

5. Beware of Influential Impostors and Quick Fixes

The greatest single obstacle to real, lasting success is the idea that it’s possible to get something for less, or even for nothing.

The expediency trap. A fundamental human weakness is the "expediency factor"—the desire for the fastest, easiest way to get what we want, often with little regard for long-term consequences. This innate drive makes people susceptible to "influential impostors" who promise quick riches, easy money, or magical solutions. These schemes prey on ignorance and impatience, offering "tricks" or "killer apps" that rarely deliver on their grand promises.

The reality of success. True, lasting success is rarely quick or easy. Research shows that becoming a self-made millionaire typically takes 7-10 years of intense, focused effort (around 10,000 hours), and for billionaires, it's often 15 years or more of persistent work and learning through repeated failures. Self-made successful individuals consistently exhibit:

• Clear goals and plans: A defined vision and strategy.
• Continuous learning: A relentless pursuit of knowledge.
• Willingness to take risks: Calculated leaps of faith.
• Hard work: Longer hours and greater effort than peers.
• Optimism and ambition: An unwavering belief in eventual success.
  These qualities, not shortcuts, are the true path to wealth and influence.

Spotting red flags. To protect yourself from manipulators, look for key indicators:

• Lack of personal success: Do they embody the success they promise?
• Unrealistic promises: Do their claims sound too good to be true?
• No unconditional guarantees: Are they unwilling to stand behind their product or service?
• Appeals to greed/fear: Do they exploit desires for quick gain or fear of missing out?
  Always remember the law of sowing and reaping: your rewards will always be equal to the quality and quantity of effort you put in. Focus on genuine contribution and value creation, not fleeting schemes.

6. Embrace the "Er Factor" by Adding Value

The comparative means that you have to offer the customer something that is so important that they will choose to buy from you rather than from anyone else.

The law of contribution. Your rewards in life are directly proportional to the value of your contribution. To earn more, you must increase the quality and quantity of what you put in, whether through physical effort or, more critically today, through intellectual value and new skills. Peter Drucker emphasized that focusing on "contribution"—how you can add more value to your business or customers—is the key to unlocking greater success and influence.

The competitive edge. In a competitive world, merely satisfying customers isn't enough; you must make them happier than your competitors can. This requires consistently seeking the "Er Factor"—offering something that is:

• Fast-er: Delivering quicker results or service.
• High-er quality: Providing superior products or experiences.
• Smart-er: Offering innovative solutions or insights.
• Easi-er/More convenient: Simplifying processes or access.
  This continuous pursuit of comparative advantage ensures customers choose you over others, building loyalty and market share.

Quality drives reputation. The quality of your product or service, as perceived by the customer, is the single most important determinant of sales and profitability. Word-of-mouth referrals, accounting for 85% of buying decisions, are built on positive experiences. Therefore, whether you're a business owner or an individual, concentrate on delivering exceptionally high-quality work. This commitment to excellence will create a powerful reputation that precedes you, attracting opportunities and amplifying your influence.

7. Sell by Listening and Solving Problems

The greatest rule of all is that listening builds trust, so if you keep asking questions and leaning forward and listening intently to the answers, then the person starts to like you and trust you more and more.

Sales as influence. Selling is the highest form of influence, deeply rooted in emotional intelligence—the ability to interact effectively with others. Successful salespeople don't just talk; they engage in a psychological process that aligns with how customers buy. This begins with establishing warmth and trust, as people are primarily interested in whether you care about them before they care about what you have to say.

The power of questions. The most effective sales approach starts not with pitching, but with asking questions. By genuinely inquiring about a prospect's goals, challenges, and current situation, you build rapport and demonstrate care. Listen intently, without interruption, pause before replying, and ask clarifying questions like "What do you mean exactly?" This active listening builds trust, gradually lowering the customer's skepticism and increasing their confidence in you. The person who asks questions maintains control of the conversation.

Friend, advisor, teacher. The "Golden Triangle of Selling" positions you as:

• A friend: Someone who cares more about them than the sale.
• An advisor/helper: A problem-solver focused on improving their situation.
• A teacher: Someone who educates them on how to get more value.
  By exploring the "gap" between their current situation and their desired outcome, you can show how your product or service provides a superior solution. Never criticize competitors; instead, compliment them while highlighting your unique, superior approach.

8. Overcome Objections by Eliminating Risk

One of your primary jobs is to emphasize the benefits and take away the idea of risk: when you buy this product from us, you never have to worry about it again.

Addressing core fears. The primary emotion holding customers back from buying is the fear of risk—what if the product doesn't work, costs too much, or a better option exists? A skilled influencer in sales understands these underlying fears and proactively addresses them. Your role is to emphasize the overwhelming benefits of your product or service while systematically dismantling every perceived risk in the customer's mind.

The power of guarantees. Unconditional guarantees are paramount in eliminating risk. Companies like Amazon and Apple thrive on this principle, offering robust assurances that instill confidence. Whether it's a money-back guarantee, comprehensive service contracts, or readily available support, these commitments signal that you stand behind your product completely. This transforms the buying decision from a leap of faith into a secure investment, making the customer feel safe and valued.

Gentle closing. When you have effectively demonstrated value, addressed needs, and eliminated risk, the "close" becomes a natural progression rather than a forceful act. Instead of aggressive tactics, a gentle approach is sufficient: "Do you have any questions or concerns that I haven't covered? No? Well, then let's get going. How soon would you need this?" The customer, having been thoroughly convinced of the benefits and assured of minimal risk, will naturally move towards a buying decision, eager to experience the promised improvement.

9. Influence in Relationships Through Unconditional Acceptance

The greatest pain or trauma for a child is love withheld, is taking love away.

The challenge at home. It's often easier to be influential among strangers than within your own family, where familiarity can sometimes breed contempt or a sense of being taken for granted. However, the principles of influence remain the same: people, especially loved ones, want to feel important, valued, and heard. The more you genuinely listen to and consider their thoughts, feelings, and ideas, the more open they become to your influence.

Reciprocity of respect. In close relationships, influence is a two-way street. By making it clear that you are open to being influenced by your family members—your spouse, your children—you foster an environment of mutual respect. For instance, allowing children to present their case and genuinely changing your mind based on their reasoning, even at a young age, teaches them the power of thoughtful communication and builds their self-esteem. This flexibility and willingness to be swayed by a good argument strengthens bonds and increases your long-term influence.

No gunnysacking. Healthy relationships thrive on ongoing openness and honesty, preventing the "gunnysacking" of grievances. Deal with disagreements as they arise, without building up negativity. The core of any strong relationship is respect; once that erodes, everything else quickly follows. By consistently demonstrating unconditional acceptance and respect, you create a safe space where loved ones feel secure, valued, and receptive to your guidance, knowing that your intentions are always rooted in care.

10. Parent with Long-Term Goals and Unwavering Support

My main job is to raise my four children to be happy, healthy children and to be a good husband. Then I do work on the side.

Defining your aim. Effective parenting, like any successful endeavor, requires a clear "aim" or ultimate goal. Brian Tracy's philosophy was to raise happy, healthy, self-confident children, and every action was aligned with this long-term vision. This contrasts sharply with "helicopter parenting," where parents constantly hover and solve immediate problems, inadvertently stunting a child's growth and fostering a sense of entitlement.

Activities Number 1. To influence children positively, focus on "Activities Number 1"—those actions that directly move them toward becoming productive, responsible, and self-sufficient adults. This means:

• Allowing mistakes: Letting go of errors without criticism, fostering resilience.
• Encouraging independence: Empowering them to solve their own problems.
• Fostering self-reliance: Teaching them to manage their resources and responsibilities.
• Unconditional love: Providing a constant, unwavering source of acceptance and support.
  While short-term interventions might seem loving, a long-term perspective prioritizes character development over immediate comfort.

The "love-tropic" child. Children are "love-tropic," naturally bending towards their primary source of love and approval. To be the number-one influence in your child's life, ensure you are their most consistent and positive source of affection and affirmation. Digital media and peer groups will exert influence, but a parent who is a "solid rock"—always present, always loving, always forgiving—provides an anchor that ensures children grow up stable, secure, and confident, capable of navigating life's challenges.

11. Influence Yourself Through Positive Self-Discipline

you cannot influence others more than you can influence yourself.

The foundation of influence. The ability to influence others begins with the ability to influence yourself. Strong willpower and self-discipline are not just desirable traits; they are foundational to all external influence. If you cannot hold yourself accountable to your own commitments, your capacity to inspire and guide others will be severely limited. This self-mastery is built on a deep understanding of how your mind works.

You become what you think. A core principle of self-influence is that "you become what you think about most of the time." By consistently feeding your mind with positive, uplifting, and spiritually enriching material, you shape your internal landscape. This aligns with the Law of Attraction, which, when combined with faith and consistent action, can draw into your life everything you need to achieve your goals. Without action, however, positive thoughts remain mere fantasies.

Practice makes permanent. Self-discipline is not an innate trait but a learned habit. As Goethe said, "Everything is hard before it's easy." Start with small, manageable steps, focusing on "just for today." Whether it's committing to daily exercise, healthier eating, or consistent learning, practice a little bit each day until it becomes automatic. By consciously deciding to be positive, to eliminate negative emotions, and to persevere in the face of difficulty, you pre-program your mind for success, creating an internal force field that radiates outward, enhancing your influence on the world.

12. Forgiveness is the Ultimate Liberator

unwillingness to forgive, or inability to forgive, is the greatest single block to happiness.

The burden of resentment. One of the most profound insights in personal development is the transformative power of forgiveness. Holding onto resentment, anger, or grudges against those who have hurt you, or even against yourself, creates a heavy emotional burden that blocks happiness and personal growth. This "unforgiveness" acts as a psychological barrier, preventing you from moving forward and fully embracing positive influence in your life.

A conscious decision. Forgiveness is not about condoning past wrongs or forgetting what happened; it is a conscious decision to release the emotional hold that past events and people have over you. It's a gift you give yourself, freeing your mind and heart from negativity. This process involves:

• Identifying grievances: Acknowledging all the people and situations that have caused pain.
• Making the choice to forgive: Deciding, one by one, to let go of the anger and resentment.
• Self-forgiveness: Extending the same grace to yourself for your own mistakes.
  This act of liberation can have profound effects on your mental, emotional, and even physical health, as chronic anger and stress are linked to various illnesses.

Clearing the path. By forgiving everyone who has ever hurt you, you clear your conscience and remove the "cobwebs" through which you perceive life. This act of emotional cleansing allows you to approach relationships and opportunities with a renewed sense of openness, trust, and positivity. When you are free from the baggage of past hurts, you become a more stable, secure, and genuinely positive individual, significantly enhancing your capacity to influence others and experience true happiness and fulfillment.

Last updated: January 2, 2026