Drunk Texts and Apologies

Mark Banks, a buttoned-up Wall Street trader, is mortified after sending a string of brutally honest, whiskey-fueled texts to his pregnant sister Hannah, her fiancé Flip, and Flip's best friend Asher St. James. The texts reveal Mark's deep anxieties about Hannah's whirlwind engagement and his own failed marriage, as well as his inconvenient attraction to Asher. At the engagement dinner, Mark must face the fallout, offering awkward apologies to his sister, her fiancé, and the infuriatingly attractive Asher. The air is thick with embarrassment, but beneath the surface, a new tension simmers—one that neither Mark nor Asher can ignore.

Hotness Scales and Tension

Asher, a charismatic ex-soccer pro turned photographer, delights in teasing Mark about the texts, especially the ones rating Asher's "hotness." Their banter is sharp, layered with double meanings and mutual curiosity. Mark tries to downplay his words, but Asher's relentless charm and Mark's inability to hide his reactions only heighten the tension. The two men circle each other, each testing boundaries, unsure if the other is interested or just playing games. Their chemistry is undeniable, but both are wary—Mark because of his recent divorce and Asher because he's used to being the life of the party, not the object of a reserved man's desire.

Best Men, Worst Timing

Hannah and Flip drop a bombshell: they want Mark and Asher to be their "best men" and to plan the Miami destination wedding together. Mark is horrified at the prospect of spending days in close proximity to Asher, fearing his attraction will spiral out of control. Asher, meanwhile, is intrigued by the challenge. Their forced partnership sets the stage for a collision of personalities—Mark's meticulous, spreadsheet-driven approach versus Asher's spontaneous, creative flair. Both men brace themselves for a week of awkwardness, not realizing that proximity will only fan the flames between them.

Fittings, Fantasies, and Flirtation

At a high-end designer fitting, Mark and Asher's differences are on full display. Asher is comfortable stripping down, while Mark hides behind the changing curtain, sneaking glances he tries to deny. Their banter turns flirtatious, and the physical closeness stirs up Mark's long-suppressed desires. Asher, sensing Mark's interest, pushes boundaries with playful teasing and subtle invitations. The fitting room becomes a battleground of self-control, with both men acutely aware of the growing attraction. By the end, Mark is left rattled, realizing he's in deeper than he thought.

Miami Bound: Temptation Rising

The trip to Miami is a study in contrasts—Asher's first-class upgrades and convertible rental versus Mark's practical, risk-averse nature. Yet, as they navigate wedding errands, their rapport deepens. Mark's careful planning is balanced by Asher's charm, and small moments—shared jokes, accidental touches—chip away at their defenses. The guesthouse they're forced to share is tiny, amplifying the tension. Each man is hyper-aware of the other, and the line between irritation and desire blurs. The stage is set for something to break.

Close Quarters, Closer Hearts

Alone in the guesthouse, Mark and Asher's attraction becomes impossible to ignore. Mark's internal struggle is fierce—he's out as bisexual, but hasn't been with a man since college, and fears rejection or ridicule. Asher, more experienced and open, senses Mark's longing and confusion. Their conversations grow more intimate, revealing vulnerabilities and past heartbreaks. The wedding planning becomes a backdrop for their slow-burning connection, as each man begins to hope for more, even as they tell themselves it's just a fling.

Club Confessions and First Kisses

When a wedding crisis sends them to a Miami gay club, the dam finally breaks. Fueled by tequila, music, and the freedom of anonymity, Mark lets go of his inhibitions. On the dance floor, their chemistry explodes—touches become caresses, and banter turns to confessions. Mark admits his inexperience and desire, and Asher responds with tenderness and heat. Their first kiss is electric, a release of months of tension. That night, they cross the line from fantasy to reality, discovering a connection that is both physical and deeply emotional.

Rules, Spreadsheets, and Surrender

The morning after, Mark and Asher set ground rules: their affair will be a secret, limited to the wedding week, and strictly physical. Mark, ever the planner, even has a "sex spreadsheet" of fantasies he's never dared to try. Asher is delighted, eager to help Mark explore. Their days are filled with wedding tasks, but their nights become a playground of discovery—each encounter more intimate, each boundary more blurred. Both men try to keep their hearts out of it, but the lines between sex and love begin to dissolve.

Family, Weddings, and Poolside Secrets

As the wedding approaches, family dynamics and old wounds surface. Mark's Parents arrive, bringing reminders of his failed marriage and the pressure to be perfect. Asher's ex is getting married, stirring up insecurities about his own worthiness for love. Amid pool parties, wedding games, and late-night talks, Mark and Asher find solace in each other. They become a team, not just in bed but in life, supporting each other through doubts and fears. The wedding itself is a triumph, but the looming end of their affair casts a shadow.

Falling Hard, Falling Apart

With the wedding over, reality intrudes. Asher's dream job in Paris is calling, and Mark's life is rooted in New York with his daughter. Both men are terrified to admit how much they care, fearing rejection or the pain of long distance. Their goodbye is awkward and painful, each man hiding his true feelings behind a mask of indifference. The loss is immediate and profound—both are left adrift, haunted by what might have been.

Afterglow, Regrets, and Goodbyes

In the weeks that follow, Mark and Asher struggle to move on. Texts are sent and deleted, calls are missed, and both men try to fill the void with work and routine. Mark throws himself into parenting and trading; Asher immerses himself in photography and Parisian nightlife. Yet, neither can forget the other. Their friends and family notice the change, urging them to reach out, but pride and fear keep them apart. The ache of absence becomes a constant companion.

Long Distance, Short Circuits

Despite the distance, Mark and Asher can't let go. They watch their favorite show "together" over video calls, share daily updates, and support each other through life's ups and downs. The longing only grows, and both realize that what they had was more than a fling—it was the start of something real. When Asher drunkenly confesses his love via text, Mark drops everything to fly to Paris, determined to seize happiness rather than wait for the perfect moment. Their reunion is passionate and cathartic, a testament to the power of love over fear.

Reunion, Risks, and Real Love

Mark and Asher finally admit their feelings and commit to making it work, despite the challenges. Asher decides to return to New York, prioritizing love over career for the first time. Mark opens his home and his heart, blending their lives and families. They navigate the complexities of co-parenting, career changes, and building a future together. Their love is messy, imperfect, and hard-won—but it's also joyful, passionate, and deeply true.

Happily Ever After, Together

Months later, Mark and Asher are living together, raising Rosie, and planning adventures as a family. Their journey from awkward best men to soulmates is complete—not because everything is perfect, but because they choose each other every day. Their love is a blend of spreadsheets and spontaneity, banter and vulnerability, sex and laughter. They are, in every sense, the best men—for each other, for their families, and for the life they've built together.

Characters

Mark Banks

Mark is a Wall Street trader, recently divorced, and the protective older brother to Hannah. Out as bisexual but inexperienced with men, he's haunted by the failure of his marriage and terrified of repeating past mistakes. Mark's life is ruled by order, spreadsheets, and a deep sense of responsibility—especially to his daughter, Rosie. His attraction to Asher is both thrilling and frightening, forcing him to confront his own desires and vulnerabilities. Over the course of the story, Mark transforms from a guarded, risk-averse man into someone willing to leap for love, learning to trust, let go, and embrace the messiness of real intimacy.

Asher St. James

Asher is a former professional soccer player turned sought-after photographer. Outgoing, flirtatious, and seemingly carefree, he hides insecurities about being "too much" and fears he's unlovable in the long run. Asher's past relationships have ended in disappointment, leaving him wary of commitment. His attraction to Mark is immediate, but it's the slow reveal of Mark's heart that draws him in. Asher's journey is one of vulnerability—learning to ask for what he wants, to risk rejection, and to believe he deserves lasting love. With Mark, he finds not just passion, but a partner who sees and accepts all of him.

Hannah Banks

Mark's younger sister, Hannah, is the catalyst for the story—her whirlwind romance and pregnancy set the plot in motion. She's adventurous and open-hearted, trusting her instincts even when others doubt her choices. Hannah's relationship with Mark is close and supportive, though she challenges him to embrace change and happiness. Her own journey is about trusting herself, navigating family expectations, and building a new family with Flip.

Phillipe "Flip" Dubois

Flip is Hannah's fiancé and Asher's lifelong best friend. Wealthy and well-connected, he's nonetheless genuine in his love for Hannah and his friendship with Asher. Flip is the glue that brings Mark and Asher together, and his easygoing nature helps smooth over conflicts. He's supportive but not always perceptive, sometimes missing the deeper currents between those he loves.

Rosie Banks

Mark's six-year-old daughter is a source of joy and anxiety. Rosie's presence grounds Mark, reminding him of what matters most. Her acceptance of Asher and her ability to adapt to change reflect the story's themes of family and resilience.

Bridget

Mark's ex-wife, Bridget, is focused on her own happiness and career. Their co-parenting relationship is sometimes strained, but ultimately respectful. Bridget's choices force Mark to confront his own needs and boundaries, pushing him to prioritize his own happiness as well as Rosie's.

Valencia

Mark's neighbor and confidante, Valencia offers comic relief and sage advice. She encourages Mark to take risks, embrace his sexuality, and pursue happiness. Her friendship is a model of acceptance and unconditional support.

Lucy

Asher's assistant, Lucy keeps his chaotic life on track. She's a minor but memorable character, providing comic moments and practical help. Her presence highlights Asher's growth from "hot mess" to someone capable of building a stable life.

Mark's Parents

Mark's parents represent the pressures of family expectations and the challenges of generational differences. Their presence at the wedding and in Mark's life forces him to balance duty with authenticity.

Flip's Parents

Flip's parents add color and chaos to the wedding, embodying the excesses and quirks of old money. Their interactions with Hannah and Mark provide both comic relief and moments of genuine connection.

Plot Devices

Forced Proximity and Opposites Attract

The narrative relies on the classic romance device of forced proximity—Mark and Asher are thrown together as co-best men, sharing a guesthouse and wedding responsibilities. Their differences (order vs. chaos, introvert vs. extrovert) create friction and spark, allowing for both comedic and emotional moments. This device is used to break down barriers and reveal hidden depths in both characters.

Banter, Humor, and Sexual Tension

The story's signature is its sharp, playful banter, which serves as both foreplay and emotional armor. Humor is used to deflect, seduce, and ultimately to connect. The escalating sexual tension is mirrored in their verbal sparring, making each breakthrough feel earned and electric.

Spreadsheets and Lists as Metaphor

Mark's obsession with spreadsheets—especially his secret "sex spreadsheet"—is both a running joke and a symbol of his need for control. Asher's willingness to play along, and eventually to help Mark check off his fantasies, becomes a metaphor for trust, surrender, and the blending of their worlds.

Family and Found Family

The wedding setting brings together families, old wounds, and new possibilities. Both Mark and Asher must navigate family expectations, past heartbreaks, and the challenge of blending lives. The found family they create—with Rosie, Hannah, and friends—underscores the story's message that love is chosen as much as inherited.

Long Distance and Communication

The narrative uses physical distance as a crucible, forcing Mark and Asher to confront their feelings and priorities. Their reliance on texts, calls, and shared rituals (like watching a show "together") highlights the importance of communication and the pain of longing. The eventual reunion is all the more powerful for the obstacles overcome.

Foreshadowing and Callbacks

The story is rich with callbacks—drunk texts, jokes about "floofy" hair, and the infamous sex spreadsheet all return at key moments, deepening the emotional resonance. Foreshadowing is used to hint at future growth, such as Mark's initial resistance to risk and Asher's fear of commitment.

Analysis

The Best Men is more than a steamy opposites-attract romance; it's a nuanced exploration of what it means to risk your heart after loss, to blend lives across differences, and to build a family by choice. Through Mark and Asher, the novel interrogates masculinity, sexuality, and the ways we protect ourselves from pain—using humor, control, or bravado. The wedding setting is both a literal and metaphorical crucible, forcing the characters to confront their fears and desires. The use of spreadsheets and banter is not just comic relief, but a way to show how love can be both messy and methodical, passionate and practical. The story's emotional arc—from awkward beginnings to hard-won intimacy—mirrors the journey many face in real life: learning to trust, to communicate, and to leap even when the outcome is uncertain. Ultimately, The Best Men argues that love is not about perfection or grand gestures, but about showing up, day after day, for the people who matter most. It's a celebration of queer joy, found family, and the courage to claim happiness, even when it means rewriting your own rules.

Last updated: November 24, 2025